Running Low

                                    

                                          
A/N: listening to running low while reading this cause i did while writing it and feELS OK FEELS
                          
The house was perfect. From the tabletops to the carpeted floors, every piece of furniture laid perfectly in its place. I sat patiently on the couch, tapping my feet on the floor. A call from Shawn's manager a few hours ago let me know that he'd be home tonight, just in time for Thanksgiving.
                          
I heard the faint sound of a car engine outside as my heart rate began to increase, my palms sweaty. It's been months since I've seen my lover face-to-face, and the thought of running my hands through his hair and being able to lay beside him at night excited me.
                          
"(Y/n)?" He called quietly after shutting the door behind him. Although I was still unable to see his face, his deep voice sent shivers down my spine, knowing he was only a turn down the hall away from me.
                          
"Shawn," I breathed, turning that corner, my eyes locking with his, tears immediately streaming down my face. The chilly fall air bit harshly at his cheeks, leaving his skin a bright pink, cold to the touch. A long, black trench coat draped down his tall figure and I ran into his warm embrace.
                          
"I missed you," he mumbled into my hair, kissing the top of my head, his hands resting on my back as he pulled me tight against his chest, "so, so much."
                          
"I missed you too." I sobbed uncontrollably, and although not much had changed about him or his demeanor, I felt something was wrong.
                          
"I'm so glad you're home, darling," I pulled away, my hands cupping his cheeks while I stood there, simply admiring the way his eyes glistened under the chandelier lights and how his hair fell perfectly above his forehead.
                          
"Me too, but we need to talk. There's something I have to tell you, and, it's important," his hands fell into mine, lifting them up and placing a soft kiss on the back of each palm. 
                          
"Is everything alright?" My mind raced with nervousness, racking my brain for every situation he could possibly need to discuss. But I'd soon find out that the very words I thought he'd never say, would slip past his lips in agony.
                          
"Come sit down with me," his voice was soft, and his strong hand fit perfectly in my delicate one as he led me to the bright, white couch, his knees facing mine as we sat down beside each other.
                          
"Shawn, you-you're scaring me," I stumbled over my words quite nervously, watching as the painful look in his eye grew stronger with every word I spoke.
                          
"Princess, please hear me out," he breathed, his eyelids fluttering shut as he drew in a deep breath, his firm grip on my fingers tightening ever so slightly, "and please know it's taking everything in me to do this."
                          
"Okay," my eyebrows pulled together in confusion, watching him move closer to me, our knees now touching and his fingertips rubbing small circles on my hands.
                          
"I think," he paused, contemplating what to say next, the suspense almost eating me alive, "I think we need to go our separate ways."
                          
And that was it. It was as though the whole world had stopped moving, and I felt as though I had done something wrong, allowing my whole world to slip right between my fingertips. My heart shattered into a million pieces, each ripping my body to shreds. I sat there staring at him aimlessly as he continued to speak, while his words went in one ear and right out the other.
                          
"I just- I don't understand," I shook my head, unwilling to accept the fact that this relationship was over, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
                          
"Darling, I'm almost never home. Touring is so tough and being so far away from you for long periods of time breaks my heart," his eyes welled up with tears his hands still entangled in mine.
                          
"We made it work though, Shawn! Calling, texting, video-chatting- we made it work for us!" I sobbed hysterically as he tried to quiet me, pulling me into his chest.
                          
"I know, baby girl, I know. It's just that I feel so guilty. You deserve more than just a phone call goodnight or a good morning text. You deserve to have someone lying in bed with you every single night to kiss you and remind you of how much you're loved, not someone away for three months at a time."
                          
I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut, "Sure, it gets lonely at times, but I still love you, Shawn, and long distance is hard b-but if that's what we have to do, I'm willing to!"
                          
"Baby, you need to listen to me." He soothingly ran his fingers through my hair as I began to calm down, sniffling a bit, "That look I saw when I returned home, it was a look of pure love and happiness. Someone else deserves to see that beautiful look every day, (y/n), not just when they return home just to leave again in a few months."
                          
"Shawn, please, don't go," I whispered. The sentence was the only one in my mind at the moment; I had nothing else to say that would make him stay.
                          
"Darling, this is so hard for me too. But I want you to have someone better, because you deserve better. I promise, someone who can give you their time, someone who can give you whatever you want and need, they'll come around soon enough."
                          
"Please just stay here tonight, though, I need you," I mumbled against his chest as he gently picked me up, laying me down on the couch, his body curled up behind mine. With his strong arm wrapped around my waist and his lips against my cheek, I felt comforted.
                          
"Of course, darling," he planted a sweet kiss on my skin as my eyes fluttered shut, wanting to savor these last moments with him, "of course."
                          
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sorry i havent updated in 10 years lol
                          
-me