21. Haunted

                                    

                                          
Logan P.O.V.
                          
I woke up the next morning with a massive hangover. I roll over and find a girl in my bed next to me. What the hell happened last night? It's a little blurry but then it starts to come back to me. James and I went to a club and I was dancing and making out with some blonde chick. That explains the girl in my bed.
                          
The girl, who I have absolutely no idea what her name is, leaves shortly after I wake up. Well that was one way to forget about (Y/N).
                          
I get up and make some coffee. I turn on my laptop and almost choke when I read what was on my homepage.
                          
'Big Time Breakup, Big Time Rebound!' was the caption. I hesitate but click on the link and brace myself for the worst. There's a picture of me and (Y/N) with a big X through it. Then next to that was a picture of me and that girl from last night dancing close at the club. The article read: 
                          
"Looks like Logan Henderson of the band Big Time Rush continues to live up to his reputation of breaking hearts. It was rumored that he broke up with girlfriend (Y/F/N) after the band finished their short world tour in Europe. Maybe too much time apart was what hurt the cute couple's relationship. But it doesn't look like Henderson is having a hard time getting over (Y/N). He seems like he's moving on quite fast. No word yet on how (Y/N) is doing with all this. New episodes of Big Time Rush can be seen on Saturdays at 8:30 on Nickelodeon."
                          
I close my eyes and rub my temples. I need more sleep. I go back to my bed to lie down for a little while. I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing.
                          
Groaning, I answer it. "Hello?"
                          
"Logan, it's your mother." I hear.
                          
"Hey mom. Is everything okay?" I sit up now, more awake.
                          
"I don't know. You tell me." I can tell she had her arms crossed with a stern look on her face. My mind immediately flashes to the story I read online earlier this morning.
                          
"Ugh not you too!" I sigh. Can't people just leave me alone about this?
                          
"What happened, Logan? She was such a nice girl!" she tells me.
                          
"Yeah so are a lot of girls." I say impatiently.
                          
"Logan, you promised me you wouldn't hurt her." she says.
                          
"Things change, mom."
                          
I hear her sigh. "You can't keep doing this every time."
                          
"Doing what?"
                          
"Pushing away anyone who starts to get close to you." she answers me.
                          
That's weird. That's exactly what (Y/N) angrily told me when I dumped her. I don't answer my mom, not sure what to say.
                          
"You need to get her back, Logan. You need each other and you know what? I think you need her even more than she needs you. She's good for you. She really cares about you and I know you still care for her, too."
                          
We hang up not too long after that. I think about what my mom told me. I have been thinking about (Y/N) a lot lately. I don't know why though. It's never been like this with any of the other girls that I've dated. I usually break up with a girl and then move on to the next one. No regrets, no looking back. But it's different this time. I can't get over (Y/N). I can't move on.
                          
I think about the time I first saw her. We were backstage at one of our concerts doing another meet and greet. I was so sick of doing them and just wanted to get this one over with. But then I saw her. And for some reason I just knew that I had to get to know her. I found out that I liked her even more when she went on our tour bus with us to the next show. I felt so comfortable around her. Like I was always meant to be with her. It was this feeling that I've never had before. That night all five of us went to a bar and sang karaoke. I couldn't believe how good of a voice (Y/N) had. I think about the day we went to the beach with the other guys. I took her to that secret spot. We played in the water, fooling around, and then made out lying down in the sand. Later that day I saved her from her dumb ass ex boyfriend. Then there were those days when she would watch me and the guys record our show. And the best night ever was when I took her out to dinner and she invited me inside her apartment. I told her I loved her. And I meant it, I truly did. I still care about her. A lot, actually.
                          
Reality hits me like a ton of bricks. I still love her. I'm still IN love with her. Oh god, what did I do? I just screwed up the best thing to ever happen to me. I want her back. I need her back.
                          
She probably hates me right now, though. After those awful things she said to me, I'm pretty sure she never wants to see me again. But...I have to try.
                          
(Y/N) P.O.V.
                          
Having Carlos over to talk really helps me feel better. But when he leaves, the feelings of hurt, betrayal, and loneliness come rushing back to me. I still miss Logan so much. But I know I have to move on, just like he's doing and probably already has. It will just take some time. I hope.
                          
There's a loud knock on my door so I go answer it. Who could that be? I open the door and see the last person I thought would ever come back to my apartment.
                          
It's Derek.
                          
"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask, super annoyed.
                          
"(Y/N) I'm so sorry about what happened at the beach that one day. I never meant to hurt you. I was just upset that you wouldn't take me back. But I get it. I totally understand. You have a boyfriend now." He says.
                          
I shake my head. "Not anymore."
                          
His face lights up. "What? You're not with that jerk anymore? Thank god. He was a-"
                          
"Derek why are you here?" I cut him off and cross my arms over my chest.
                          
"I just wanted to apologize. I really can't stop thinking about you. I know you don't feel the same way about me now. But maybe in time you can." He smiles at me.
                          
I look into his beautiful blue eyes and consider what he's saying. Then out of no where he kisses me. I'm taken aback and he pulls away.
                          
"Sorry." he looks away.
                          
Before I know what I'm doing, I grab his face and turn it back to mine, crashing my lips onto his. Now it's his turn to be surprised. But he kisses me back forcibly and backs me up against a wall.
                          
When his hand slides down my back almost to my ass, that day at the beach flashes into my mind and I push Derek away.
                          
What the fuck am I doing? Making out with Derek? My stupid ex who cheated on me with my best friend? I've seriously reached an all time low. Why did I kiss him? I guess I was just lonely and wanted to feel something again. But I felt nothing. I feel empty. Drained. Lifeless.
                          
Derek must've seen the look on my face cuz he asked if I was okay.
                          
I look at him and manage to nod my head yes.
                          
"I um...I've gotta go to this thing so.." I stumble out.
                          
He gets the hint. "Oh yeah me too. I better get going." Derek walks to the door and then turns around when he grabs the door handle. He smiles at me and says, "Nice to see you again (Y/N)."
                          
I nod and he leaves. I just go to my bed and flop down onto it face first. I don't want to deal with anything for the rest of the day.
                          
Logan P.O.V.
                          
I pace around my apartment unsure of what to do. Do I call her? No she wouldn't answer. Do I just show up at her apartment? She might slam the door in my face. After thinking about it for a while I decide to just go to her apartment, knock on the door, and hope for the best. But what do I say to her? If she even gives me a chance to talk.
                          
"Ugghhhhhhh!!!!" I groan. I am seriously so stupid! I had something so great and I threw it all away. I don't want to be that guy any more. I don't want to be the guy who uses girls and breaks their hearts. I want to be the kind of guy who will be there and support her. I need to get (Y/N) back. I just hope she excepts my apology.
                          
I get to her apartment building and to her hallway. But I stop in my tracks when I see a guy leaving her apartment. Is that? No it couldn't be. I turn slightly as he passes so he wouldn't recognize me. It was Derek, (Y/N)'s ex boyfriend. The one who I almost punched in the face that day at the beach. What the fuck is he doing with her? He better not have hurt her.
                          
I go to her door and take a deep breath. I can do this. I knock on the door but there's no answer. She has to be here. I knock on the door louder. Still nothing. My heart starts to race. Did Derek do something to her? I'm starting to panic now. If he even touched her, I am going to kill that son of a bitch!
                          
"(Y/N)?" I yell. No answer.
                          
"(Y/N)!!!" I yell louder and bang on the door.
                          
The door flies open, "God, what?!" (Y/N) says. Then she sees me. The color drains from her face.