5 - Odds

                                    

                                          
Camila hated Lauren.
                          
Camila hated that Lauren took her wife's or husband's last name when Camila had always envisioned taking Lauren's once upon a time. She hated that she was married and had a child – at least, to her knowledge. And she hated that, again to her knowledge, Lauren had moved on from her and had been handling the cordiality between them better than she. 
                          
If Lauren felt any sort of discomfort, Calmila had not sensed it.
                          
Camila hated that the more she had been exposed to Lauren's presence, the less control she had of her mind and her heart. She hated that after all those years, Lauren still had a hold on her. She hated that she wanted Lauren back in her life. And she hated that she wanted it to surpass friendship.
                          
Camila hated that they broke up. She hated Lauren for not trying harder to save their relationship. She hated her for leaving. She hated her because she, herself, gave Lauren a reason to leave and that it was a valid. She hated that she allowed it. And she hated that she knew why.
                          
Camila hated Lauren with a passion but she could still feel a speck of ardor fighting against her bitterness. 
                          
Now, that was a lie. 
                          
It most definitely wasn't an insignificant speck. Otherwise, she would not have any sort of difficulty maintaining eye contact with the green eyed brunette or speaking with her without contempt. It would have been much easier to shake her hand, or maybe, they could have hugged it out. 
                          
More importantly, Camila hated that she was walking towards Lauren's office and racking her brain, thinking of excuses to consult the psychologist's professional advice. And she hated that she couldn't find any and yet her feet were still walking without any change of direction.
                          
What ever happened to her desire for closure? Camila was simply immobilized by a predator and dragged away to be devoured heartlessly.
                          
That got her thinking what Luca had to say. The man was opinionated and was not afraid to utter the words that people choose to forgo for their own sake. 
                          
Besides, he will definitely be crushed.
                          
It was Thursday, six days since she had invited the older woman to her home. She had spent the majority of her time fighting a losing battle against herself; internally and repeatedly mumbling "you hate her" until her mouth chanted the words without her conscious knowledge. The Monday both had been hopeful about, Camila wasted tiptoeing like a burglar or briskly walking but maintaining her poise to remain undetected by her ex-girlfriend.
                          
Ultimately, she had given up on avoiding Lauren and was working on accepting defeat while ambling towards the powder blue office after her last class of the day. It hadn't even been a week and she was already conceding. How pathetic.
                          
Camila hated Lauren but there was one other person that she hated more than the green eyed brunette and that was herself.
                          
Swimming in her thoughts, Camila was aimlessly staring ahead and was not necessarily seeing the body that had been blocking the door and the person's hand that had been attempting to insert a key onto the knob. Her momentum was slow but she was steadily approaching until her front could feel the wide curve of the other person's behind and the mop of curly hair landing on the side of her face. 
                          
Nope, it wasn't Lauren. 
                          
"I'm so sorry..." The woman immediately blurted out, carefully swiveling to inspect the person behind her and to properly apologize despite it not being her fault. A very audible gasp escaped her lips as her eyes widened in sheer horror followed by a strenuous attempt at swallowing the lump in her throat.