Temptress

                                    

                                          
I catch a glimpse of his blond hair pulled back in a pony tail, as he leans against the wall watching us. I want to run into his arms, but something about this moment feels off. All this time I've been devastated not being able to see him or be around him when he needed me the most, but I would have with out a doubt had been there for him, except that the vibes he's giving off right now suggests that I'm one of the least people he'd want to see right now. 
                          
"Zico, you just missed out on a feast." Jay jokes, but Zico doesn't return the humor and instead keeps his silence. 
                          
I can tell by the silence, and the way Zico and Jay are looking at each other that I'm just making things awkward when they shouldn't be. I've done nothing wrong and neither has Jay, Zico has no right to take things the wrong way. 
                          
"I stopped by to check in." Zico looks at me as he says it. My eyes suddenly warm at his words, whatever anger I had moments ago, dispersed. I give him a warm smile, and he gives me one of my favorite sly grins of he's known for. 
                          
"I'll be going then, see you two later." Jay walks out the door without a single glance back at me, his shoulder slouch as he leaves but I pay no thought to that. 
                          
"Hyung." Zico calls out. 
                          
Jay stops midway, and Zico takes the initiative to say whatever is on his mind. "I'll be stopping by AOMG later."
                          
Jay tilts his head back and gives Zico a cocky grin before leaving. I wonder what it is that's going on between those two. I pull my door wide open for Zico to walk in, luckily my dad isn't going to be home today since he's doing some work near Busan. 
                          
Zico sighs as I shut the door, his arms wrap around my waist the second I put the lock. A soft click that emanates from it echos through the house, and my breath hitches when I feel Zico's lips on my neck. "I missed you so much." He breath's against my ear. I feel him nuzzle against my neck. 
                          
"I missed you too." I whisper. "Why didn't you answer my calls? Did you know how devastated I was?" I can feel him scowl at the sounds of my words. 
                          
"I needed time." He sounds sincere. 
                          
"I figured it would be something like that." I push myself away from him and walk over to the kitchen where I proceed to clean the dishes me and Jay left behind. 
                          
"I might even get kicked out of SMTM 4." I freeze at the sudden sound of his words. 
                          
"But you did nothing wrong." I insist.
                          
He shakes his head and runs a hand through his face, taking his shades off in the process. "It's just a load of crap." I can tell how tired he is from everything that's been happening lately, I really wish I could find a way to make it all feel better but I'm so useless right now. 
                          
"Zico." I begin. "Stay strong, I'm sure your fans will support you no matter what." At the sound of the word fans his eyes lit up and there's a smile on his face. 
                          
He grabs a beer from the fridge and takes a seat on my couch. After I'm done with the dishes I take a seat next to him and let him play with my hair. We sit a silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company. I've missed him so much that I forgot what he smelled like, or how his smile meant the world to me, or how his hands were the softest in the world. Zico was a lot of things to me, he meant a lot, and sometimes it really did scare me because I knew too little about him. 
                          
I've always wanted to ask, but he never really gives me a full answer just a hint. I decide to muster up the courage to ask him something that's been on my mind. Since the day of the accident when I got a ride from Jay, Jay mentioned something about the both of them being in love with the same girl, I wanted to know who she was, or if she was his first love. 
                          
"Zico, can I ask you something." He shakes his head, yes. "Who was your first love?" 
                          
He stops taking a sip of his beer and instead puts the can back down on his lap. I can tell that I've hit a touchy subject. I pull back and sit upright to look him in the eyes. "She doesn't matter anymore." He mumbles. 
                          
"She?" By the look in his eyes I can tell she does. 
                          
He rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh. "She was my first real love." I thought it wouldn't bother me, but the words somehow sting. "I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. I'd do anything for her...even stop rapping." His eyes turn cold and serious. The way he looks right now makes him a total stranger to me. His eyes aren't soft and kind and full of pure intentions like always instead there dark, regretful, and filled with endless amounts of pain. 
                          
I instantly regret asking because this image of him is one I'll never be able to forget. "But she loved someone else who didn't love her." 
                          
Silence. 
                          
I don't know what to say or do, so instead I just stay quiet and focus on something other than him because he looks like he might break down. "But-" 
                          
"Stop." I interrupt. He's suddenly grows conscious of the situation and pulls back from whatever trance he was in. 
                          
"Sorry." He mumbles. 
                          
I don't take his words seriously and instead my mind wanders off to who this person could be, and wonder if she's possibly still a part of his life. The thought of her still being around him makes me want to vomit. 
                          
"She doesn't matter anymore." Zico assures me. 
                          
He's back to being that lovable kind Zico I know, and he leans in and plants a kiss on my neck, which suddenly pulls me from those sad thoughts and I focus on the Zico whose looking at me now with so much hunger, lust and want that it makes me want to embrace that lie. But as he kisses me deeply, the image of Zico and that mysterious love pops into my head. 
                          
And like every other night we spend together I don't let him go further than second base mainly because I want to wait it out, but now the image of him and her invade my mind, and I don't think it'll ever stop. So as he sleeps in my arms, I wonder about it over and over until sun breaks, and in the first time in a while I think seriously about my relationship with Zico and what I want.
                          
But the sudden thought creeps into my mind, what if I'm not really what Zico wants, just a substitute, and that was enough for me to conclude that I had to find out who she was, and I knew just who would help me, whether he wanted to or not.