Fears/恐れ (2/2)

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"NO!!! LEVI!!!"

"F/N wake up right now!!" Levi shouted as he hit you on the chest, realising that the chest compressions did not help at all. He hit on your chest a few more times, hoping to regain a heartbeat. Droplets of sweat dripped onto your body, leaving a trail as it flowed down.

It has been 10 minutes since your heart stopped beating.

"Levi... it's been 10 minutes... You know the survival chances are lower each minute passes.." Hanji said sadly, and looked away.

Suddenly you darted your eyes open, your mouth inhaling a huge amount of air into your lungs. You coughed. "F/N!!" Levi and Hanji hugged you at the same time. You were saved, afterall. "Shorty please excuse yourself. I need to do some examinations on her." Hanji said as she pulled the curtains. On the other hand, Levi was relieved that you are alive, and slumped himself on a chair.

~♤~

After some rest and examinations, you sat up on your bed, holding your chest due to the pain from the compressions. It formed a bruise, and it hurts each time you breath.

"F/N. Are you okay? Can you hear what I am saying now?" Levi asked as he stopped reading a book from his chair. "Sorry for just now. I had to do that to make you alive again. Your heart stopped for a while. Your arrhythmia is under control for now, but make sure to eat your medication." Levi said, with his eyes locked on at you. He felt sorry for the bruise on your chest.

"T..Their d..deaths... it's m..my fault..." You mumbled. Tears streamed down on your face. Trembling, you grabbed Levi on the wrist tightly, and dropped your head down, your hair covering your face. Levi was alarmed, and decided to calm you down by caressing your cheek, swiping your hair to one side. He pulled you towards him, and gave you a hug.

"C..Corporal... it's my fault for causing their deaths... so why am I here, living..?" You questioned him, as you begin to cry. He soothed you, with his hand on your back, patting you.

"L/N, tell me what happened. I cannot allow my cadets to suffer in silence without their superior knowing. Tell me. " Levi whispered in your ear, as he hugged you tighter. Those words hit you like bullets, and you began to cry out loud, releasing all the stress and burden you are carrying. Levi patted you on your back gently and coaxed you like a helpless, fragile child.

"I..I saw my teammates...they were all dead. They came back, and I saw them killing you... and yet I....I couldn't d..do a..anything.." You sobbed again. "I am the o..one who c..caused their d..deaths. I am to blame-"

"F/N. Look at me."

Levi commanded, releasing you from the hug. He used his thumb to wipe off the tears, then held your face with both of his hands, delicately.

"F/N, I am here. Well and alive. I won't die until all the titans have been wiped out. I will not die so easily like an insect." Levi assured you, still trembling.

"From the day you came back from the expedition, you kept saying "I am fine, don't worry." It's.. not fine at all. Losing someone really hurts, and I've been through that before. It's much worser than yours. Stop blaming yourself." Levi continued, giving you a kiss on the forehead.

"But if they weren't under my command, they may be alive. Reuniting with their families and loved ones. If I am not the one who led them in the expedition, they may be-"

"F/N."

Levi cut you off and you looked into his eyes.

"F/N, their deaths are not your fault. It's not like they died because you are the one who led them. Tell me, did you ask them to go die by sending themselves to the titans?" Levi asked.

"N..No.."

"Then it's not your fault. Your choices did not lead to their deaths. Believe in yourself and your choices that you've made. The only thing we are allowed to do is to believe that we won't regret the choices that we make." Levi said as he hugged you again. You returned the hug, your mind being more peaceful now.

"F/N, stop blaming yourself. Live on and fulfill your teammates' wishes: To annihilate all titans in this cruel world." Levi said, as he gave you a peck on your lips. You were surprised. Levi hugged you again, but you winced in pain as he hugged you a little too tight, making the bruise hurt. Levi immediately released the hug and apologised. You gave a smile to him. It was a genuine smile.

"Okay now? You must be tired. Have a rest now, it's not good to strain your body futher. I'll be here, don't worry." Levi said, as he tucked you into bed. You slept peacefully, with Levi as your guardian angel.

"Love you, F/N. I'll protect you with my life."

"F/N. I'll come back to visit you again."

☆Bonus☆
Hanji was peeking at both of you, who are unaware of her presence. "Gyaa~~ cadet L/N and shorty are hitched up! What should we do Erwin???" Hanji asked Erwin excitedly. "Well, let's just leave them alone. Afterall they went through similar events in their life, losing their comrades. It's traumatic." Erwin said with a light smile, pulling Hanji away from the door.

"Maybe we can spread rumours or something. That should panic Levi. It's been a long time since I saw Levi being shaken that much." Erwin told Hanji, as they walked down the corridor, grinning, predicting what will happen as the rumour spreads like wildfire.

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