Chapter 43- My Sanity

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by gracie_lxpez

by gracie_lxpez

Leah's POV

It's a little past 12:00am and I'm getting worried. I know Jen said she was gonna stay with Rodrigo- but she said nothing about spending the night there. I can't stand sitting here waiting for her so I reach for my phone and call Rodrigo. He answers, "Hey, where is Jen?" I ask him.

"She's here with me. She asked to stay here for the night." He says to me. "Is she okay?" "She's... She's been better." He says to me. "Can I please come over?" I ask him, wanting nothing more than to be beside Jennifer right now. "Yeah... I'll be awake for a few more hours so just knock when you get here." He says.

I hang up the phone and grab my purse. I leave the house in a pair of black, spandex shorts and a grey hoodie with black lettering on it that I go when I was in high school. I make it to Rodrigio's and park my car and dart up to his floor. I knock on the door softly, not wanting to wake Jen. He opens the door and he's standings there, shirtless.

"Hey." I say and step inside. "She's in the guest room." He says and closes the door. I nod and flash a small smile. "You like what you see?" He teases and flexes his muscles. I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Shut the fxck up... Unless you've got a pu$$y then I don't have any interest." I joke and shoot him a look. He just laughs and smiles. I tip-toe into the guest room which has a very faint light shining in it. I put my purse down in the floor and climb onto the bed and find Jennifer's sleeping body beside me. I kiss the back if her neck very softly and drape my arm over her side.

"L-mm-Leah?" She grumbles. "Shh, it's me. Go back to sleep." I whisper to her. She mutters something and then falls back to sleep. Poor thing, she's so tired. She's mentally and physically exhausted and it's very obvious.

I'm woken up around 8:00am by Jennifer. She stretches her arms out and we both open our eyes at the same time. I smile a little and place my hand on her thigh underneath the blankets. "Why are you here?" She whispers. "Because I couldn't sleep without you beside me." I tell her. "Leah... Why do I care so much?" She asks me.

"Because you know you should. You have sympathy. You have a heart. It's normal, I would think it was insane if you weren't hurting through this baby..." I whisper to her. "He - fxck. He was so done with me when he found out I was seeing you... He wanted nothing to do with me and then he just calls and says he wants to see me one last time before he's gone. That's a heavy feeling. I'm here, feeling guilty for some reason about being with you and for loving you... Why? Why does what he said and what he did mean so much to me?" She asks and just stares at me. "Listen, I can't answer all of those questions. But I can tell you a few things... I can tell you that no matter what anyone says it thinks- this...us... we're not wrong or bad people for loving each other, you're gonna hear otherwise but I promise you, this isn't wrong. I can tell you that I'll always love you and be here for you when you need someone... I can also tell you that you're gonna be alright through all of this. You're gonna come out stronger than before. I know you, you can and you will because you're one of the most determined and strong willed people I've ever met." I smile at her. She grins at me and lifts her head to peck my lips. "I swear, you are my sanity." She whispers and touches my face softly with her fingertips. I grin at her and let out a small giggle. "If that's what you call it." I tease.

Jennifer's POV

It's now 4:00pm and we are still at my brothers and planning on leaving soon. I think I'm staying so close to Rodrigo right now because I know that phone call is coming. I know that I'm gonna get the news within the next few days and even though I am expecting it- it's gonna hit me hard and I'm gonna need someone to catch me. It doesn't necessarily have to be Rodrigo... But it's got to be someone I love and trust. The only people that I love and trust with all of my heart right now is my brother and my girlfriend. I love my mom, I do. But our relationship hasn't completely mended from what happened and like I had said before- I don't know that it ever will completely mend.

"You good?" I'm snapped out of my little daze by Leah. I'm standing in the bathroom staring into the mirror and I left the door open. Leah is staring at me waiting for an answer. "Huh?" I mutter. "I said... Are you good?" She mutters and looks at me, seeming confused. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I was just- I'm good." I smile at her. "Okay... Can you promise me something?" She asks and reaches for both my hands. "Mmhmm." I mumble. "Promise me you're not gonna shut me out and try to push me away." She says to me. I bring my eyes to meet hers and don't say anything. "Like that." She says. "Don't ever stop talking to me. I feel like I say something and it just doesn't get through to you because you're so damn stubborn and you block everything out." She says and makes a face. "I'm sorry, But you know I'm not used to this. You know I'm not used to having someone like you that I can talk to and trust and all that... And I don't wanna bother you with every single thing that goes wrong in my life." I say and swing our hands. "I don't care, I just want you to talk to me okay?" She says. "Okay, I promise." I whisper and flash a closed smile. I lean over and peck her lips 3 times in a row, holding each kiss a little longer every time. "Take me home." I tell her. "If that's what you want." She says and holds her hand out in the direction of the door, showing me out. I walk to the kitchen and see Rodrigo sitting on the countertop, no shirt, no shoes, just a pair of black gym shorts.

"Bye." I say and hug him. He puts his phone down and hugs me back. "You're leaving?" "Yeah, I just wanna go home and be with leah and stop bugging you." I say to him. "Okay. Call me if you need me. Love you." He says and kisses me head, then he messes up my hair. I laugh and shake my head. "Bye, Leah." He says and hugs her from the side. "Bye!" She says.

Leah and I leave and head home.

We walk into the condo and Leah closes the door. I lazily toss my purse onto the table thats sitting in the hallway. "I'm so tired." I say and run my hands through my hair. "Go take a shower and then just relax... Okay?" Leah tells me and slips her hands around my waist. "Come with me." I say to her and pout my lips out. "To the shower?" "Mmhmm." "Okay." She smiles. We go upstairs and I turn on the shower and pull my shirt off and then my pants. "Baby?" I say and face her. "What is it?" "After this... Can you please give me a massage?" I beg her. She laughs a little and then nods her head yes. "Of course."

We get into the shower and I just stand there under the water with my eyes closed. "I'm so stressed out." I whisper and turn around, so that my back is to Leah. "I know you are, but you're gonna be okay. I promise. I'll make sure." She says and steps under the water with me. I face her again and our wet bodies rub against each other and she kisses me tenderly. "I love you." She whispers to me. "I love you more." I respond.

We eventually finish our shower and Leah goes into the bedroom and puts on a long-sleeve t-shirt and panties. I stand in the bathroom and brush my hair with a towel wrapped around my body. "Come here." She says and sits herself on the bed. I wander over to her and smile. "You want that massage now?" she grins. I nod and pull on a pair of black panties and then lay down on the bed. I don't bother with a shirt or even pants. I lay there on my stomach and leah swings her leg over my body and sits on top of my ass. Her hands move up and down my back, kneading it slowly.

I nearly fall asleep while she's doing this. After about 15-20 minutes she finally climbs off of me and and I roll over. "Thank you." I whisper softly. "Anytime." She grins and pecks my cheek. "Now put a shirt on, I'm ordering pizza." She says to me and gets off of the bed and reaches for her phone. I grin and do what she says.

I like this, I'm feeling a lot better and a lot more relaxed now. Leah is such a huge help to me. She knows what to do and what to say... I swear it's like she's inside my head sometimes but I need that. I need someone who can help me through stuff and knows the right things to say and what things they shouldn't say... I'm so grateful for her and I don't know what the hell I would do without her honestly.