Sentence Block Shorts: A World of Roses

                                    

                                          
The world is a lot bigger than you and me.
                          
But I will never understand why the world took her away from me. She didn't deserve the hand she was dealt.
                          
The news was the worst. We had been trying to conceive a child for the past four years and it never happened. Her doctor called it infertility problems or something like that.
                          
She had cried for days, shut herself up in our bedroom and locked me out. I let her be. Maybe that was selfish of me but she needed her space and I was willing to give that to her, like everything else.
                          
Then it went from infertility problems to Uterine cancer. That was devastating but I still stuck by her. Children weren't a deal breaker. I married her because I loved her, not what she could give me.
                          
After the surgery, things were looking up though. We had conceived a baby the first try. We were both beyond happy and then everything cam crashing down when she miscarried.
                          
That one was the first of four until our miracle baby. We had been so happy about the news that it consumed us. We had assumed she was healthy after Audrey's delivery but we were wrong. The cancer had spread even more and at this point, we couldn't do anything other than sit and wait.
                          
Chemotherapy was always an option but she was adamant about not taking it. She said it was would just prolong her illness and I understood. It's still hard for me to come to grips with it right now to this day but I try.
                          
I miss her so much that I find myself rushing home to show her something I read at work and even once, I bought flowers home, forgetting that she wasn't there and she never would be.
                          
And then my nanny would come out of Audrey's room and hand her sleeping body to me. She was only eight months and in that short lifetime, I had gained and lost so much.
                          
"The world is a lot bigger than you and me." That was one of the last things she said to me besides I love you forever Aubrey. I'll always be here with you.
                          
I had never understood what she meant by that until now. The world was a lot bigger than us two but I was never lost until now. With her, I knew my way and now I'm supposed to be responsible for raising our daughter? How the fuck am I supposed to raise a child when I couldn't even save her?
                          
The nanny, Rhonda, a tall older black woman in her fifties took Audrey from me when she realized what I had in my hand.
                          
Another fucking bouquet of roses to bring home to a wife that was no longer there.