4. Men's Law of Masturbation

                                    

                                          

(UPDATE?!!! *Gasp* OK, so I had told in my previous note that I would not be able to update for a while because of my exams. That's true. But I couldn't stop myself from updating one more chapter just before I went for a hiatus. My exam is starting from 14th Sept and ending on 21st so I'll be gone for a week. But here's a chapter for you guys to enjoy!)
                          
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When I reach home, I see an envelope lying on my doorstep. It is addressed to me but there is no name or address of the sender. I'm puzzled and curious. I pick up the envelope and open it. 
                          
There is a single photograph. The photograph is of Brad and me trying to get rid of the dead bodies of the child and his mother whom we - whom Brad had killed earlier today. On the back of the photograph, there is a short message - "I know."
                          
I stifle a scream of horror as I quickly rush inside my house. Somebody knew! Somebody knew about the dead bodies! Somebody knew about the murder! I am going to jail! I need to inform Brad ASAP!
                          
I could've called him, but who knows, someone might have tapped my phone or something. So I run towards Brad's house instead to inform him about the photograph in person. I burst into his house without knocking. There is a lady and a man in the living room - I think it's Brad's parents - but I shove them aside and run upstairs towards Brad's room (I know where Brad's room is because I've been stalking him since grade one).
                          
"Brad!", I cry as I burst into his room, but I realise too late that you should always knock before entering a boy's room. Brad is lying naked on his bed with his laptop, jerking off to a porn. "Barbara!", Brad cries, in shock or in ecstasy I really don't know, and he orgasms. His milky fluid shoots out from his penis in a great speed and splashes right on my face.
                          
"I'm so sorry", he pants while I just stand frozen with a cum-stained face. Oh, this is awkward.
                          
"Umm...here", Brad hands me a box of tissues. I start wiping my face as he starts putting on his clothes. I wish he didn't - I was enjoying the view. "So...uh...", Brad says awkwardly, "According to Men's Law of Masturbation - Up and down motion, creates a white lotion."
                          
"Brad", I say, "I didn't come here to talk about your masturbating laws. I've come here to discuss a rather important subject."
                          
"Why so serious, baby?"
                          
I hand him the photograph and his face turns pale. His eyes widen in shock and fear. "Oh my god", he whispers in a terrified voice, "I look fat in this photo!" What the - what? Is he for real? Can't he see the seriousness of this situation? 
                          
"Brad!", I hiss, "Somebody knows about the murders!"
                          
"It was an accident!"
                          
"Yeah whatever, somebody knows about the accident! They could show this photo to the cops and we'll be arrested!"
                          
"Oh no!", he exclaims in fear.
                          
"We've got to find out who this person is", I say, "Can't you do something? Some vampiric power and stuff? Find out who the hell is behind this photo?"
                          
"I'm a vampire, not Sherlock Holmes", he states dryly. "And we don't have any special powers - this is not Twilight. It's reality." 
                          
"We're going to jail! We're going to jail! We're going to jail!", I begin to mutter hysterically. I shake my head and accidentally peek at his laptop screen. What the hell?!!!
                          
"Gay porn?", my voice comes out too shrill than I expected.
                          
"What? No way! That isn't what I was watching! You must have clicked something! I'm straight and I don't have any gay fantasy nor do I jerk off everyday to gay porn! Nope, no way!", Brad protests vehemently and slams his laptop shut. "Don't you ever go through my laptop again, understand?"
                          
Suddenly, the air before me ripples and the room begins to vibrate slowly. POOF! A teenage boy appears out of thin air in the middle of the room, a small scar on the side of this forehead and round spectacles on his nose.
                          
"Harry!", Brad exclaims as he rushes forward to embrace the boy. "Barbara, this is my friend Harry Potter, and Harry, this is my girlfriend Barbara." Harry takes my hand and kisses it slowly. "Nice to meet you, Barbara", he mutters and wiggles his eyebrows flirtily. Ugh!
                          
"So", I force a smile, "How do you know each other?"
                          
"Oh, don't you know? I studied in Hogwarts for a month but then I was expelled because of my bad behavior", Brad says.
                          
"Really? I had no idea!"
                          
"So guys", Harry says, "I hear you have a problem."
                          
"Yes, but how did you know that?"
                          
"Facebook. Duh!"
                          
Harry takes out his iPhone and shows us a photo - the photo. Someone called 'Karma hoe' had uploaded the photo of Brad and I with the dead bodies but luckily, both of our faces were blurred and unrecognizable. It had been edited. "I think I can help you find the person behind this", Harry says.
                          
"Really? Thank you so much!", I say.
                          
"Hey dude, can you make me look thinner and muscular in the photo?", Brad asks.
                          
"Of course I can, duh!", Harry rolls his eyes, "But everything comes with a price. You both have to give me something in return."
                          
"What?", Brad and I ask together.

                          
(Hope you enjoyed that 'cause I ain't updating for a week. Or more. Hold your shit till then. Bye! See ya later, homies!)
                          
Please don't forget to press that star button!