"Did you and Zach fuck?"

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January 23, 1998

The sixth-grade dance was postponed because of the weather. Zach got like, five teeth pulled, and his face is all swollen. So I wouldn’t be able to French him anyway. He looks pretty weird.

While I was walking to lunch today, I ran into Aaron. He said, “Did you and Zach fuck?”

I was like, “No! Who told you that?”

He said, “Matt.”

I asked Matt why he would say that and he denied it. But he was obviously lying.

On the way back from lunch I saw Aaron again and he said, “Matt just told me that you had sex with Zach!”

I wonder why Matt is having so much fun with this theory. Maybe Zach told him to! Oh, that would be great! That would mean Zach really likes me, or is proud of me or something. But it’s more likely that Matt is just full of shit.

[Obviously, when a guy lies to his friends about having slept with you, it’s a turn on. Unless he just had like, five teeth pulled and looks pretty weird.]

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