Michael nodded before responding, " I don't think things have to go that far."
Calum stared at Michael in disbelief. What the actual fuck. Didn't Michael see that this was tearing him apart?
                          
"Michael, you look like shit, and that's me putting it nicely," Calum gritted irritatedly through his teeth.
                          
"This, whatever you have with Luke, is tearing you apart," Calum cried trying to get the severity of the situation into Michael's head.
                          
Michael nodded again his face paling more than Calum thought humanly possible.
                          
"Mate," Calum sighed feeling guilty," I just don't want you or Luke to get hurt."  
                          
It's not that Michael didn't understand that. It was that he couldn't stop no matter how hard he tried. How could he say no, when everything in him was screaming yes?
                          
〜。〜。〜。
                          
So, pull yourself together, or you'll wash up like the rest.
                          
How was Michael supposed to get his shit together? He didn't know where to begin. His life was as much of a mess as his room. Nothing was in the right place. 
                          
Maybe, instead of depending on Luke, he needed to depended on himself. Michael needed to figure out who he was before deciphering his exact feelings for Luke.
                          
Michael had gotten back from his chat with Calum over an hour ago. He was staring at the ceiling in his room. Calum's words floated through his head. Yet, Michael couldn't bring himself to take his friends advice.
                          
Michael would miss Luke too much. Once they had taken their relationship to the next level, Michael decided that he never wanted to go back.
                          
Michael didn't want to forget How Luke tasted in his mouth. Michael didn't want to forget how Luke's hands felt as they caressed his bum. Michael didn't want to forget that side of Luke.
                          
Everything was really difficult. 
                          
〜。〜。〜。
                          
This ship is sinking I'm thinking I'm done for.
                          
Michael was struggling. He knew that he liked Luke, but did he like like Luke? Maybe he liked the idea of being intimate with someone.
                          
Michael didn't need Luke. Michael didn't want Luke. He just wanted someone to hold. He just wanted someone to hold him.
                          
Michael had been alone for too long.
He hadn't felt that close to someone in a long time. He had issues with intimacy. 
                          
He didn't have a problem with physical intamacy. Michael had a problem with emotional intamacy. He hadn't let himself be emotional in front of anyone. Michael had been hurt too many times. He didn't know what he would do if he was hurt one more time.
                          
Michael liked to think he was tough. He liked everyone to think he was tough. And maybe he was. That wall of steel he built around his mind kept him safe, kept him strong.
                          
He hadn't let himself be at someone's mercy in a long time. When Michael kissed Luke for the first time, he was letting Luke in. Luke knew him better than anyone ever had.
                          
Luke knew all of Michael's quirks. Luke knew all of Michael's sweet spots. Luke knew all of Michael's fears and fantasies.
                          
And this left Michael vulnerable. 
                          
〜。〜。〜。
                          
I watch as the sails disappear under water, cause I'm no captain yet.
                          
Michael felt those weird feelings for Luke fade into the background. He felt content. Everything was fine to him. Everything had to be fine.
                          
When Michael had convinced himself that he was using Luke as a substitute, everything felt easier.
                          
Weeks passed and summer turned to fall. Weeks passed and Michael felt calm. 
                          
March had turned into April. And things between Michael and Luke seemed to simmer down.
                          
Michael found himself thinking more and more about Haley. She was a sweet girl with big round brown eyes. Her gingerbread curly hair fell just at her shoulders.
                          
She was 5'3 and slightly pudgy with rounded cheeks and a defined jaw. Her smile was lively and whenever she did her dimples popped. 
                          
She was really cute to Michael. He couldn't stop smiling when they talked. He was all smiles around her.
                          
"Hey, Haley," Michael called to her. She turned around her hair whipping to the side.
                          
"MIKEY!" She squealed running up to him. Michael enveloped her on a hug. She buried her face in his chest.
                          
"Aww," Luke cooed coming up behind them. He wasn't the least bit jealous. Luke was happy that Michael was making friends. It wasn't everyday that Michael talked to new people that weren't patients.
                          
"Wanna sit with us?" Luke smiled at her. She smiled back. 
                          
"Yeah," she said excitedly, " is it okay if one of my friends sit with us too?"
                          
Luke nodded as he watched the pair make their way into the cafeteria. He thought they would make a cute couple.
                          
Michael was talking to Haley about something. Michael's eyes sparkled as his smile widened. Luke looked at Michael fondly. He was very happy for Michael. He really was.
                          
"Can I sit here?" A strong voiced queried from behind Luke. He turned around. His breath hitched in his throat. 
                          
"y-y-yeah of course," Luke responded. He was surprised. She rounded the tables and sat across from Luke next to Haley.
                          
"I'm Allie," the girl with brilliant pear green eyes grinned. Her fiery red hair was pulled up in a messy bun. Luke could see the freckles that littered her cheeks and he wished he could count them.
                          
"I'm Luke."
                          
(A/N)
Early update cause OUR BOYS FUCKING WON! I'm such a proud mama bear rn it's cray cray.
                          
Also LARENTS HOLDING HANDS. 
Today had been a good day for me tbh.
                          
I'm running on four hours of sleep.
                          
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-Michelle