Chapter 29

                                    

                                          
At this point everything was moving in slow motion. Kurt was holding me up as I watched the horrible scene unfold in front of me slowly. The EMT's came out of the house with Dave's body on the stretcher and placed him in the back of the ambulance. His father walked slowly behind them looking down and his shoulders heaving heavily.
                          
I felt so sick at that moment. Had I caused this? Was this my fault? Was I the finally straw? Did I put the last nail in his coffin? 
                          
All these questions flooded my mind and I couldn't help but cry.
                          
Kurt dragged me back to his car and through me in it again for the second time in less than 24 hours. This time I just laid there staring at the car ceiling and cried like I was a baby or like I was the one who found Dave.
                          
Kurt got in the car next to me and just pulled me close to him and held me close. He watched the rest of the scene intently as I watched his expression change from worry to guilt just as mine had. Suddenly we heard sirens which put a smile on both our faces. When an ambulance pulls off and the sirens are blaring, that means the person in the back is alive. This small fact gave me a glimmer of hope.
                          
Kurt placed my head on his lap, as he put the car in gear and followed behind the ambulance.
                          
We got to the hospital and waited in the car for about a half hour before we went in. We wanted to wait until we were sure that Dave was checked in and settled in.
                          
We walked in the hospital together and went to the receptionist. "Good morning, we're looking for David Karofsky," Kurt said in his professional voice.
                          
"He's in room 300 on the third floor. Take those elevators over there by the gift shop," the receptionist said with a friendly smile.
                          
"Thank you so much," I smiled at her.
                          
We followed her instructions and found the room easy enough. Dave's father was sitting outside the room crying his eyes out. "Hi Mr. Karofsky, do you remember me?" Kurt said walking over to him, I stood back a few feet.
                          
"Hi Kurt," Mr. Karofsky said, wiping his face with his hands.
                          
"I'm so sorry to hear about Dave. Um would you mind if Blaine goes in to see him?" Whoa I didn't think he was going to ask that.
                          
"Who's Blaine?" Mr. Karofsky asked.
                          
"Blaine's my boyfriend and he would really love it if he could speak with Dave."
                          
"Dave is still unconscious but if he would like to just sit in there for a while then that is fine."
                          
Kurt looked back at me and nodded for me to enter the room. I entered the room and felt even more sick to my stomach. There were tubes coming out of his mouth to help him breathe and it just made me feel so much worse.
                          
"Hi Dave, it's me Blaine," I started talking as I sat down next to him. I grabbed his hand and it was freezing. "Dave if you can hear me, please squeeze my hand." I said, hoping he would squeeze my hand. He didn't so I didn't bother speaking. I just sat there and watched a machine breathe for him. My heart broke with each artificial breath.
                          
Somewhere along the line of me watching him, I fell asleep, but I heard everything. Some nurse's came in and changed the tubes in his mouth and they talked about when they thought he was going to be able to breathe on his own. They guessed sometime tomorrow or later on today since it was so early.
                          
"Blaine honey, we have to get ready for Sectionals," Kurt came in and woke me up.
                          
I opened my eyes, which were burning badly, and saw his gorgeous face. Reluctantly I got up and followed Kurt out the room and back into the hall. "Mr. Karofsky we have to go our singing competition, but we'll be back as soon as we're done," Kurt said softly.
                          
"Okay, good luck," he forced a smile.
                          
I let Kurt pull me down the hall towards the elevator. I can't believe this.
                          
*******
                          
"Mr. Schu I would like to sing a song for Karofsky," I said in the green room.
                          
"What song?" he asked.
                          
"'Keep Holding On,'"
                          
"Good choice."
                          
Just then the lights blinked in the green room signaling that it was our turn to perform. I stepped out on stage and was a nervous wreck when the intro to 'Keep Holding On' started up.
                          
I walked up to the mic and allowed the tears fall from my eyes, I turned and looked behind me and reached my hand out for Kurt, who walked up with me and grabbed my hand.
                          
"Courage." he said to me and walked back to his spot on the platform behind me.
                          
I built up all my courage and began singing.
                          
You're not alone
 Together we stand
 I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
 And it feels like the end
 There's no place to go
 You know I won't give in
 No I won't give in

 Keep holding on
 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
 Just stay strong
 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
 There's nothing you could say
 Nothing you could do
 There's no other way when it comes to the truth
 So keep holding on
 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

 So far away
 I wish you were here
 Before it's too late, this could all disappear
 Before the doors close
 And it comes to an end
 With you by my side I will fight and defend
 I'll fight and defend
 Yeah, yeah

 Keep holding on
 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
 Just stay strong
 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
 There's nothing you could say
 Nothing you could do
 There's no other way when it comes to the truth
 So keep holding on
 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

 Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
 Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
 Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

 La da da da
 La da da da
 La da da da da da da da da

 Keep holding on
 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
 Just stay strong
 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
 There's nothing you could say
 Nothing you could do
 There's no other way when it comes to the truth
 So keep holding on
 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

 Keep holding on
 Keep holding on

 There's nothing you could say
 Nothing you could do
 There's no other way when it comes to the truth
 So keep holding on
 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
                          
At the end of the song I broke completely down, but made my way back to my spot on the platform for the next song. In all honesty, after I did my solo I was on auto-pilot. I was just waiting for the moment when the judges said that we won so I could go see if Dave was awake so I could apologize to him.