Nari walked into the school dully. She already felt dead. She wasn't wearing her uniform. She hadn't come here for school anyways. She walked up the steps slowly and numbly. All the way up to the roof. She stumbled out onto the roof. The cement was bright and the weak sunlight shone on the plastic school. She slowly walked up to the edge of the roof and sat down. Her mind was blank. A numbing blankness. She used to like this. The calm. This wasn't calm. It was pain. Numbing, killer pain. She had always wondered if it would be better to be alive or to be dead. And with a pain like this she had finally come to a decision. She'd like to be dead.
She stood slowly and took a step up so she stood on the very edge of the roof. She teetered for a second and regained her balance. Suddenly, arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back sharply. She gasped in surprise and she hit the ground, landing on top of someone. She rolled off the person limply and sat up slowly. She looked at the person dully. It was Misook. She was panting and sitting up painfully. Nari nodded to her and stood, turning to go back into the school. She'd just come back when Misook was gone. Misook scrambled up and grabbed her arm. She let Misook pull her down into the ground.
"What happened." Misook demanded. Nari told her quietly. Each word made her want to run and fling herself off this godforsaken roof, but something stopped her. Whatever was stopping her better go away soon.
"I see." Misook murmured. Nari nodded numbly. Suddenly Misook flung her arms around Nari's neck and began to sob loudly. She buried her face in Nari's neck and cried. Nari sat limply, shocked. Suddenly it began to drizzle slightly. Why was it raining? Whenever she was happy and with Suga it rained. Now was not a time it was supposed to rain. She remembered when she and Suga had ran out into the rain and he picked her up. And when she made him omelettes. All just a few days ago, now it felt like centuries. Slowly, she clamped her arms around Misook and cried too. The rain got heavier and pelted their skin. But nothing was heavier than their tears.
They finally let go of each other and Misook wiped at her eyes quickly.
"Don't do that." She hiccuped.
"What?" Nari choked.
"Try to kill yourself. Suga's not the only one that matters. What would I do without you? What if Suga came back? What would happen then? You'd be dead." Misook scolded her.
"But what if he doesn't come back." She whispered shakily.
"Then go look for him! Jin stayed with me. I can barely even speak to him. He's still trying to get the old me back. I love him so much. If you love Suga you won't give up on him." Misook began to cry again, but continued anyways,
"What's the point if you give up? No one has given up on you yet, so you can't give up yet. You have to go find him. He's your home right? When you look at him there's no place you'd rather be? Then go back home. Find home. Use the stars. Use the ocean. Something. Anything. Just don't give up. Without hope, how do you fight? How do you fight for who you love when you don't think you can?" She seemed to be asking herself too. Nari nodded.
"I'll find home. I'll find him. I have to don't I?" Misook nodded and hugged her tightly. Nari hugged her back.
"Your know you're still good enough for him right? He loves you so much." She murmured.
"I know. It's just hard. I keep think of his face when he saw what was happening." Misook shuddered.
"Don't lose hope. Neither of us can give up." She squeezed Misook. She needed Misook. Misook nodded.
Keep fighting.
