Chapter 16

                                    

                                          
My heart starts pounding as students grumble and move about the classroom putting up chairs and shutting off the lights. The last time I heard those words were during the shooting.
                          
I'm sitting there for a minute frozen in fear before I realize I should probably get moving. I put my chair up and all the students go against a corner so nobody could see us if they look through the door.
                          
My ears are ringing and I notice I'm shaking pretty badly. I silently pray I can avoid a panic attack.
                          
Jake sends me a weird look, because he just so happened to end up sitting next to me on the floor.
                          
Everyone sits in the quiet, but I feel like everyone can hear my racing heartbeats. The dark room takes on a eerie silence and a few students hold back a snicker. I don't think this is a laughing matter. I close my eyes and start praying that everything will be ok. That the new friends I made here will be safe. I suddenly get hit with flashbacks of the day of the shooting.
                          
I can still remember how the police officer had to blindfold me before carrying me out of the school. 
                          
The loud gunshots ring through my ears, but I know it's just in my head. When I open my eyes again I see white. The familiar signs of a panic attack reign around me. I bite my trembling lip hard enough to cause blood and let a few ragged breaths escape by accident. A few people nearby send me a look. 
                          
A few minutes have passed and I can hear footsteps outside the door in the hallway. No gun shots have fired, but I shouldn't speak so soon.
                          
The door swings open and the room is flooded with light. I thought those doors were locked!
                          
"All clear," a gruff voice says and leaves the doorway. I'm still sitting on the ground and students are getting up and stretching.
                          
"Stop freaking out, it was only a drill," I hear Jake say, but he looks confused by my reactions. A drill? Just then the speaker in the room goes off.
                          
"Sorry for the interruption of any classes with this drill. You may now resume usual activity." I let out a shaky breath and stand on still trembling legs. I can't believe it was just a drill. I was worried about nothing. I go back to my desk and set the chair down before slumping in it. What an interesting day.
                          
Of course at my old school we did drills like this too, but after actually experiencing it I don't think I should be lenient about it. Even if it is a drill.
                          
My head is pounding as I struggle to push back the memories that are fighting to break through my wall. No, I will not crumble.
                          
I tap my foot anxiously wanting to get this day over with. Sadly the teacher insists on talking about the lockdown.
                          
"Thank you guys for being so corropertive during that drill. I know that's a scary thing to think about, and it's good for us to practice. I highly doubt the chances of it happening to any one of you being very high though," I scoff. "We always want to be prepared,"
                          
"Ms.Jacobs, wasn't there a school shooting like a year ago," A student speaks up. I sink down further in my seat.
                          
"Yes Jason, there was a shooting in Florida. It hasn't quite been a year yet though. Does anyone still remember that shooting?" A bunch of students nod.
                          
"Hey Maggie didn't you used to live in Florida? Was the shooting near you?" Jason asks me. I send out curses in my head towards the guy. I nod.
                          
"Yes I lived in Florida," I squeak out meekly. No one catches I didn't answer the second question.
                          
"Oh that's right," Ms. Jacobs intervenes. She clearly knows about the shooting and doesn't want to put pressure on me. "I can't imagine what those poor kids were thinking about when that shooting happened. Many people died that day,"