Chapter 17

                                    

                                          
The memories of his harsh words accompanied her for months after she left his side. Day and night she recalled his cruel actions and in her heart she felt that she might never be able to forgive him. She hated the idea of hating him, but she knew in her mind that he didn't love her so what else could she do to rid herself of the love she felt for him. Maybe if she felt hatred for him, one day she would stop loving him, and then she could finally move on.
But as the months passed and her belly grew, Nathalie knew she could never hate him. Her mind and heart simply seemed to be against the thought of hating Gabriel Agreste. As her pregnancy progressed, her heart loved him more even as his cruel actions seemed so vivid in her mind. Nathalie thought that maybe it was the baby inside her that made her feel that she must love him no matter what. And that maybe after he was born, she could finally forget about Gabriel and stop loving him.
The problem was that the moment after she gave birth, Gabriel was standing there in front of her, not wanting to leave her side. Nathalie tried her best to dismiss him, but Gabriel never left as he demanded to be part of Alexander's life. She didn't have it in her to deny him the opportunity of being a father again, after all life had been cruel enough to him and stripped him of that privilege years ago. So Nathalie was forced to interact with Gabriel every single day. He's proven that he loves their son and that he truly wants to be part of his life. Nathalie can see in his eyes that Alexander is his heart. She notices how his face glows each time he sees their baby, and she's seen how fatherhood has transformed him in a way she never imagined.
And maybe it's that that's made her continue loving Gabriel. Seeing how deeply he loves Alexander and how great of a father he truly is, makes her still love him just as much as before.
———
But Nathalie can't blame Alexander or Gabriel's change in behavior for the situation she's landed herself in.
What has just occurred is something that came out of their own will and desire.
So all Nathalie can do is turn away from him, and let her body sink into the soft mattress below them.
She shivers as she feels his warm hands begin to trace the outlines of her back. He'd never done that before, and the thought of how different this encounter was begins to take over her mind. She realizes that even though she had been in his arms before, everything about this encounter was unfamiliar. Gabriel's touch was soft and there was no coldness sensed as his hands roamed her body.
His kisses were affectionate, yet intimate, even as he devoured her mouth with full intensity. His eyes glowed like she had never seen before, and his mouth whispered gentleness like the voice of a lover.
"Are you okay?" He whispers softly, his fingers still touching her back.
She doesn't respond, he had never asked that before and suddenly embarrassment begins to take over her as the awareness of their situation begins to sink in.
"Nathalie?" He calls again. Gabriel moves closer to her, pressing his body to hers and trying to make their eyes meet. "What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm feeling fine." She finally responds, not daring to look at him. "I guess I wasn't expecting for this to happen."
Gabriel's hands suddenly leave her skin, as he moves away from her in an abrupt way that has Nathalie wondering what's gotten into him.
"I'm sorry," he says, "I thought..." he takes a sharp breath, "I thought you wanted this to happen."
Nathalie quickly turns to look at him, noticing the shadow of rejection in his face. "That's not what I meant, Gabriel..." But it seems it's too late, Gabriel moves away from her as if he were afraid to harm her with just his simple glare. His feet touch the bedroom floor, and his hands reach for his clothes as he swiftly slips them on. He feels uncomfortable, an uneasy feeling begins to fill his stomach.