38.

                                    

                                          
"Why do you do this? Why do you like torturing yourself? Kyun karti ho aesa?" She looked in the mirror, the state of herself, the tears pouring down her cheeks, her reddened eyes, her muscles swollen from the amount she had cried in the last twelve hours. This was not how she expected for her Sunday to go. 
Umeed was enraged by her actions from her previous night. She did not know what got into her to make her make the decision she did. It felt sensible, it felt like it added up but she did nothing more than hurt him, and herself.
The immense regret had eaten her alive and there she was, standing in front of her mirror on a Sunday morning, reflecting over her actions and regretting it. She did not mean anything of what she said, she was unable to even realise why she said it. 
Washing her face, she walked out of her room to the living room and sighed, pressing her face. Crying became painful and her facial muscles were aching, Umeed was devastated.
She was about to get water for herself when her phone rang. Fearfully, she picked it up after seeing who it was. Umeed had not spoken to her for too long and it was unfair. 
"Hello?"
"Kesi ho Umeed?" Saveria spoke on the other end of the line and Umeed felt her heart drown. Her lip trembled but she bit it hard and squeezed her eyes to compose herself. Not today, not any time soon when Saveira was so excited about so many things in her life. 
"Theek. Tum batao." She clutched onto her shirt and went to sit down on the sofa, taking deep breaths and trying her best to be there for her friend. 
"Mein bhi bilkul theek, bas tayyariyan." Umeed imagined the livelihood of her house, the atmosphere and the excitement of her parents. Saveira had the kindest and most supportive parents, and Umeed had grown a loving bond with them as well. She could envision the happiness on their faces. Saveira was an only child so this was a very important and beautiful time for them.
"That's nice."
"Call tou aaj zaroori hai. Events ki dates bhi bas finalise ho rahi hain, mein tumhe formal invitation cards bhi send kar doon gi jese hi ban jayein ge. Magar I'm telling you right now you need to take a week off. Ab shaadi ek hi dafa karni hai tou I'm going to make it grand. Bohot saari dholkiyan aur rasmein plan ki hain for friends and close family, aur bhi tayyariyan hain. Tumhe abhi se bata rahi hoon tum poora hafta khaali rakhna." Umeed smiled amidst her silent breakdown and wiped her tears, Saveira was so excited, it was evident in her voice.
"Theek hai, bas dates confirm kar dou, I'll be there." She gulped and looked up at the ceiling, her eyes strained from the tears. She looked up as if that would help her breathe any better. She felt congested.
Being there for her friend was a blessing and luxury, there's nothing more honouring than being there for when Saveira steps into a few chapter of her life. But being there would mean other things, like facing him again. Already, she was unable to bear with the guilt of what she had done, but facing him sounded horrifying. 
"I'll say between the last week of July and first week of August, confirm kar ke tumhe kal tak bata doon gi" Saveira continued talking onto the phone but Umeed was unable to keep up. She was feeling unwell. The twisting cramps in her lower stomach gave her the realisation that maybe it wasn't just her actions that were making her emotional. 
"Sahi." Her voice cracked and she pressed her fingers against her neck, gently rubbing it and composing herself. 
"Tum busy ho?" Saveira definitely took note of the short answers and empty replies. Umeed was trying her best, and she did her most to not show any signs of distress because the last thing she wanted was to pan the attention to herself. It was Saveira's time to be happy and excited.