36 | It's Him

                                    

                                          
N O A H
I sit on Sarah's couch, my fists clenched so tightly that my nails bite into my palms. My mind is a storm, replaying everything, her terrified face, her bruises, the way she looked so fragile when Ryan carried her in. 
And that's what's eating me alive: Ryan. It wasn't me who saved her.
My chest tightens. I glance toward her bedroom door, hearing the faint sound of her breathing. She's asleep, safe for now. But it's not enough. Nothing about this is enough.
"This is your fault," Ryan's voice cuts through the silence like a blade, sharp and cold.
My head snaps toward him, rage flaring hot in my chest. "What did you just say?"
"You heard me," he says, stepping closer. His glare is like ice, and I want to smash through it. "If it weren't for you and your psychotic ex, Sarah wouldn't have been targeted. She's in danger because of you."
The words hit hard, but I don't let it show. I stand, towering over him. "Don't act like you're some hero just because you were there this time. You think you're better than me?"
Ryan's smirk only pisses me off more. "Better than a guy who let his ex-girlfriend turn Sarah's life into a nightmare? Yeah, I'd say I am."
The anger surges, uncontrollable. "Say that again, I dare you."
His expression doesn't even falter. He leans in closer, his voice calm but lethal. "Save the macho act for someone else, Noah. You can't intimidate me. Show that anger to the people who deserve it, not me."
My grip tightens, my entire body trembling with rage, but before I can react further, Leelo steps in, shoving me back. "That's enough, both of you!"
I take a step back, my chest heaving. Ryan fixes his shirt, glaring at me like he's already won.
"You're mad because I saved her," Ryan spits. "And you didn't. Admit it."
I don't say anything. I can't. The truth is, he's right. The fact that it wasn't me who protected her burns me alive.
"Stop it," Nayla says, stepping between us, her voice firm. "This isn't helping Sarah. She's been through enough, and all you two care about is your egos. Grow up."
I run a hand through my hair, pacing the room. She's right, but I can't stop the guilt, the frustration, the feeling of failure gnawing at me. I look back at Ryan, who's watching me with a mix of disdain and pity, and it only fuels the fire. 
"You think you're the only one who cares about her?" I snap.
"No," he replies evenly. "But I'm not the one putting her in harm's way."
His words linger, cutting deeper than I want to admit. I clench my fists, trying to shove down the emotions threatening to spill over. For now, I'll let it go for Sarah's sake. 
But this isn't over. Not by a long shot.
The room feels suffocating. Leelo's voice breaks the tense silence as he clears his throat, standing awkwardly in the corner. "Uh, Noah... just a heads-up. Tomorrow's the wedding shopping. Ryza insisted."
I feel my jaw tighten, the tension in my body turning volcanic. Wedding shopping. For that? After everything? 
It's like she's rubbing salt into every wound I have.
Before I can even react, Ryan chuckles, leaning casually against the wall like he owns the place. 
"You must be thrilled, huh? Picking out centerpieces and rings for the big day." His smirk is infuriating.