thirty-eight

                                    

                                          
It was weird. I hadn't spoken to Normani for a whole day. She didn't text, I didn't text. The only thing I heard about her was from Camila that said that she hadn't been talking to the girls. Her signature move for when she was feeling down. 
But now I was stood outside of their house, way more composed than I was the last time I was here. 
I had talked to Ísold about this whole situation and she said maybe that Normani was right. Maybe we, by we she meant I, needed to move on. Because it wasn't healthy to put myself through this, sleeping with her, becoming hopeful, then waking up and having a reality check that it was just that. Hope. 
She also said that I might've overreacted. Which was also probably true. 
So I slept on it and thought for a whole day. She was right. Move on. And not overreact. Not expect something that wasn't going to happen. Not read into things. Just live in the moment. 
I texted Normani that I was coming over and my heart was beating out of my chest. I was excited to see her again but nervous as the same time. It was around dinner time, they had left the studio half an hour ago. 
I walked up the steps and rang the doorbell. The door opened quickly, Normani on the other side. She looked tired, but beautiful nonetheless. 
"Hey." She breathed as she saw me. 
"Hey." I said back. She moved so I could walk inside. 
"How are you?" She asked, we were still by the front door. 
"I'm okay." I smiled. "How are you?" 
"Same." She said and smiled too. But it looked nervous. "Listen, I-"
"I know." I said, knowing what she was going to say. She was going to say she didn't mean it like that and she just didn't want anything to change and that she was sorry. But I didn't want to talk about it. 
"Okay." She breathed again and leaned against the wall. 
I had to show her that we were okay. So I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her. I felt her let out a shaky breath as her arms wrapped around me also. 
"I'm sorry." She said quietly. 
"I'm sorry too." I replied. "I overreacted. I think I was just hungover and felt bad from throwing up."
"You scared me." She said. "I thought you'd want nothing to do with me." 
I shook my head because it was the opposite. So I just apologised again. 
We stayed like that for a while, neither of us saying anything. Just holding onto each other like we were going to lose each other. 
"I'm glad you came." She then said, into my shoulder. 
"Me too." I replied. She then pulled her head away. 
"Mom was worried when you didn't answer her calls." She said. I didn't have a real reason for not answering Andrea, I just didn't want her to hear how sad I was. 
"I'll call her soon." I said. "Where are the girls?"
"Living room. Probably eavesdropping."
"No we're not!" I heard Dinah's voice and Normani rolled her eyes. I just let out a laugh. 
I went to pull away but Normani tightened her arms around me. "Not yet." And I just smiled and hugged her. 
"Am I rubbing off on you?" I asked and she rolled her eyes again. "Stop that."
She trailed her hand over my shoulder and my neck. "I'm sorry I bruised you."
"I'm sorry too." I rubbed my thumb over hers. It was on the right side of her neck, more centred than mine was.