Brittney asked. 
I laughed in response to her.
"What do you mean?"
"You and Billie are cute together and were just curious is all."
Sara chimed in.
"Billie and I are not a thing-"
She cut me off.
"Well, your too's body language would say otherwise."
Brittney said in a suspicious tone. 
"Well, Billie we are just close y'know"
"She's cute."
Sara said looking at Brittney.
"I don't even know who you too are."
"That's okay, we tease everyone-"
"-it's not personal."
"You two are like the creepy twins from The Shining."
I said laughing. 
They laughed back at me and we watched the band that was up play their last song. 
I hadn't taken the time until now to look at their lead singer. He was tall and was a heavier set than Mike, Billie, or Tre. He had brown hair and he looked like he belonged in Beverly Hills. Yet he dressed like an East Bay punk. He had on the same tee-shirt I had, worn a few days ago. The sex pistols shirt with pink lettering. He even had two nose piercings. Despite everything I was thinking about this guy, I thought he was kind of cute. There was something about this guy that made you think he looked like old money. Now I know I'm the last person to talk about a person coming from an unpunk scene but c'mon this guy was trying so hard and yet seemed to fall so short of the subculture. 
"We are No Rest For the Homewreckers!"
The Beverly Hills old money singer said as he walked off stage.
I knew that The boys were next. 
I waited to hear my words being artfully performed and fixed into the beauty that Billie had built surrounding my words. 
"This song's about being a pussy."
I rolled my eyes looking into his green eyes. 
I heard the sound of the riff.
Hey there, looking at me.
Tell me, what do you see/
But you quickly turn your head away
Try to find the words I could use
The three of us danced jumping up and down and trashing our heads. I felt like a stupid kid. I looked up to make sure the boys were doing okay, especially Billie I know he smokes too much to have any breath support left but somehow he always manages. I listened to the song that was so familiar to me. I remember Billie making fun of me after I showed this song to him after having studied with a cute guy. 
The boys played through the set of four songs they had; At The Library, Road to Acceptance, I Was There, and they finished with the song I had written for Billie Joe, Going to Pasalacqua. 
Hearing that song was always hard for me. Knowing that Billie wouldn't know the boy behind the lyrics, knowing that the dream of us running away together was improbable as we, weren't a we. We were but not in the way I had wanted to run away as a we. 
Here we go again
Infatuation touches me
Just when I thought it would end
I often tried to not think about why I felt for Billie. Despite everything everyone said I would always shut it down. Billie and I were nothing but best friends, best friends that just happened to be closer than most, and best friends that just happened to be a boy and a girl in a band together. We were nothing more. We were nothing. 
I'm in for nasty weather.
But I'll take whatever you can give that comes my way, yeah
(far away)
The song had meant so much to me and so little to him. He always though seemed to know it meant something deeper to me. He knew it wasn't because I had written it, he knew it was deeper than that but he only knew the deep connection to the feeling of running away not the feeling of yurning and regrets I had felt in that perspective. 
"Goodbye, ladies!"
Tre yelled after running full speed to the mic at the end of their performance. 
I started to trudge my way out of the crowd from the two shining girls. 
I pushed my way through the people who acted as if they were cemented to the ground. I walked past the bathrooms and to the back rooms. This was a place between the public space and backstage. There were two rooms for people who were performing, one for instruments and one for talking and being more chill than the moshpits that would try and be formed outside. 
There were several people in the back room and I kept searching over the people to see Billie and when I saw him I began to walk quickly almost as if no one was in my way.
"Shit, I'm sorry!"
I said this after bumping into this guy around him. He made me nervous.
"No worries, bud- ma'am."
He quickly changed his words after seeing that I was a chick and not a bro. My cheeks became slightly flushed red.
"Now, I'm sorry."
"No, you're okay, do you want me to buy you back a lemonade or whatever that was? "
 
I looked over at his hands which were holding the small remains of the yellow drink. 
"No, you're okay, would you let me buy you a drink?"
"Why would you do that after I spilled yours?"
"Because you're cute."
The guy had been standing chin up, looking at me. 
"How about maybe another time okay? I have to get back to my band."
"Your in a band? What band?"
"Uhm, well I don't perform, I write for them."
"Oh shit that's cool, well I don't wanna hold you long but, can I at least hand your number?"
"Sure, you got a pen?"
He spun around tapping his pockets in search of a pen but nothing showed up. 
"I got my head?"
He shrugged and grinned at me as I told him my number. I doubted he would remember my number he and his band looked like they were about to go celebrate so much they were still going to be drunk tomorrow morning. 
We said goodbye and he and his friends headed out the back doors.
"Who was that?"
Mike said
"That was Lyla's new boyfriend obviously."
Tre said. 
Billie stood behind the two, looking at them with an angry, stressed look. He looked tense. Mike and Tre stood there laughing until Billie pushed past them, reaching to hug me. He put his arms around me like he always did, but this time, almost as if trying to keep me away from everyone else. At first, it was a normal warm hug, but then he squeezed me close to him and kept holding me even after I'd let go of him. 
I couldn't tell if the hug was angry or filled with stress, but I could tell that it wasn't a happy one. I didn't know if the stress was to be put on me or onto something else, but I was the person he just clung to for support. Eventually, he pulled away from me but stood close to me. We were directly across from Tre and Mike, who looked like they were still laughing. 
"So Billie, are you Lyla's new boyfriend then?"
Mike said trying to hold back a burst of laughter.
"Shut up!"
Billie whined. 
Billie and I made our way back to the car well Mike and Tre were looking for their Shining twins. I immediately sighed loudly the second we went in. Billie was lying with his seat pulled backward and his arms above his head. He turned and looked at me grinning before closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath.