rhian-now

                                    

                                          

You know that feeling when you're so happy that you start to fear something bad is bound to happen? It's like living in a constant state of panic, because this happiness feels too perfect, too wrong.
Tomas and I have settled into a routine now. He's here because he wants to be, he told me that himself when I asked. He's been swamped lately with his company's submission, which keeps him locked up in the library working for hours. Sometimes—no, most of the time—if I'm being honest, I just sit there and watch him work. I read, sure, but mostly I just watch him.
I keep thinking that he might disappear, or that I might've imagined him altogether.
We're going to Geneva today for a charity gala. Tomas is still holed up in the library, and I decide I should probably pack. Clarissa sent me the invite, so it feels official.
I walk over to our closet, trying to figure out if we should pack one suitcase or two. I pause when I realize Tomas doesn't have much clothing here. I hate packing. All the other times we've traveled together, Tomas has always done the packing. But now, I'm doing it. He's busy, and if I'm honest, I'm a little bored.
I go back to the library, and there he is, sitting at the desk, frustration written all over his face. His beard's growing in, and I love it that way.
The moment I close the door, he looks up, and I offer him a small smile.
"You look like shit," I say.
"I feel like it too," he mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper. "Come here."
Tired, overworked Tomas is even bossier than usual. I hesitate for a second before walking over to him, and he pulls me into his lap, making me straddle him.
He grabs a handful of my hair, tilting my head back so my eyes meet his. I can feel his arousal pressing against me, and the sight of him like this, desperate and intense, makes my heart race.
"Baby," he whispers, "I need to be inside you."
I can feel myself becoming instantly wet, my voice coming out hoarse. "Okay."
"Baby, you don't understand," he says, his voice low and urgent.
I frown, unsure of what he means. "What? You want to have sex? Let's have sex."
"No," he breathes, "I don't want to have sex. I need to fuck you."
I swallow, my pulse quickening as I try to process what he's saying.
"You'll see," he says, lifting me up into his arms.
There's nothing gentle about the way he rips my clothes off. He doesn't even take his own off—just his pants. I barely have time to react before he's inside me, thrusting hard and fast. The force of it makes me gasp. I scream, the sound only spurring him on.
His hand wraps around my throat, squeezing in a way that suffocates me, but somehow feels so good. I raise my hips with every thrust, meeting him, matching his intensity. Without warning, he flips me around, positioning that my head was resting on the desk an him behind me. I intantly hated not having him inside me even if it was just for a moment.
I ached, but it wasn't pain—not really. It was a kind of ache that burned in the best way, that left me gasping and clawing for purchase as my body responded to every rough, precise movement. I screamed his name again, louder this time, and that seemed to driver him crazier, rougher, he seemed to grow bigger inside me everytime i screamed if that even is possible. His growl was guttural, animalistic, vibrating through me.
It was like he was taking out every frustration, every unspoken thought, every pent-up feeling in this moment. And I let him because I needed it, too. I needed to feel him this close, this wild, this completely mine.
When it was over, he collapsed on top of me breathles , both of us spent. His arms wrapped around my waist.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice low, breath still heavy against my ear
I turned to face him, brushing a damp strand of hair from his forehead, and gave him my biggest smile. "Yes. More than okay, i liked it".
We ended up back in the chair .I wrapped arms around his neck, my face in the cook of his shoulder.He smelled like home.He pulled me closer and we just sat there together, although it didnt feel like it was close enough.