I Have to Be Honest with You

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I Have to Be Honest with You

I have to be honest with you, 
my heart is fractured, like waves that split 
when they break against the shore— 
each piece drawn back to deeper waters, 
unsure where to rest.

There’s a weight on my chest, 
a hollow space where love once grew, 
but now it's a tender ache, 
an offering of faith laid bare, 
waiting on the wisdom only God can give.

I know you’re searching, 
drifting toward a past that pulls like tides, 
and though I tried to be enough, 
tried to be the arms that held you steady, 
you needed something I couldn’t give— 
a grace only God can pour into you.

So, I will release this longing, 
place it in His hands, even as my soul 
wants to cling, to hold tighter. 
I’ll let you go, trusting His purpose, 
that He shapes the future in ways I can't yet see.

I’ll keep my love here, honest and true, 
not bitter, not chained to regret, 
but open, as if He called me to wait 
for the morning to rise, for hope to return 
like the light after storms clear.

This isn’t goodbye, 
but a prayer wrapped in surrender 
that you’d find wholeness, 
and that in His timing, I'd find mine too.

- letter never sent ( it's goodbye)

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