22 November, 2024

                                    

                                          
I have cried a lot....yet none knew,neither my husband.
A year, almost.
This family is not like what i imagined it to be.
I had cried, to want to visit my family after marriage, always. Till today.
They didn't let me grieve for my dad's death.
My dad passed away, they asked me to be practical and not cry.
How much ever i grow. 
Even if i am married.
I am his daughter.
How the hell, was i supposed to not cry.
I HATE THEM FOR THAT, EVEN MY HUSBAND.
I stayed with dad oly for 2 days after i came to my house, he passed away.
I would have never forgiven them, if i was not here at that time.
I had been asking and crying to them to send me to mom's place but they weren't accepting, saying the bloody reasons like I'm pregnant its not good to travel, you are married not now.
Its their luck that, i had come here 2 days back to pappa's death...or else i don't know wht i would have done.
After his death, mamma's heartbroken.
Yet again they proved heartless. They didn't let me stay with her for long. I was called back there.
They don't care for my feelings, i am sure of that.
They cele8my birthday, which was exactly 20 days later to my dad's death.
They expected me to get ready, enjoy when my heart my crying for my dad's death.
I was pregnant, completely vomiting, in my own birthday celebration I didn't have dinner and no one cared for it.
A month, they didn't let me meet mom.
A month later at the 40 days anniversary, yet again they didn't accept when i told i want to stay there at least for a week.
My in laws didn't accept.
What always hurt me more is, my husband as well doesn't allow me.
Days passed by, mamma slowly recovering frm these things and pregnancy was coming to an end.
Yet again the problem of sending me to mom's place started.
But this time, they accepted.
Because mamma was paying for the hospital fees, anf they know if the delivery is seen there she won't help.
My cruel selfish in laws.
At least my husband was not in this, he wanted all the things to happen there.
Yet again, he didn't understand what i wanted.
Delivery happened and i am blessed with a beautiful girl, Mashallah.
Again the problem started.
My mother in law blamed my mom for the bp rising and immediate delivery to be happened.
On the day of delivery she went back after seeing the baby.
Then its been 2 months today, actually exactly 2 months.
22 September my babygirl was born.
And my husband and in laws expect me to be healthy and come back there.
My mother in law asks me to work.
My husband is asking me to work.
And i am going back in 8 days back to my in laws.
Because they don't care for me, neither my husband.
My husband doesn't understands that, even if i am healthy and active i have to rest for at least 3 for months post pregnancy else this would affect my whole life.
And again i hate him for that
He doesn't know, i cry for my dad at the night. I stay awake for the whole night sometimes thinking about him.
When i cried in front of him missing my dad, he called me a kid amd from then i stopped talking about pappa in front of him.
I don't know how I'll go back home, leaving mamma alone here.
Its all on Allah, he will do it good for all of us.
Its not like I don't love my husband, i love him to death, but the way he thinks and wants is not what i want, also he loves me back too, he misses me. He loves me as much as i do and i am sure of that.
He does so many things, to keep his mom happy, even if it means to not support me.