55

                                    

                                          
In the days following Zayn's departure, the atmosphere within the band feels off. There's a weight hanging over them all, an invisible barrier that no one knows how to break. Niall and Liam try their best to keep things light, to keep the spirits up. They joke, they laugh, but the smiles don't quite reach their eyes anymore. Alex can see it – the cracks in their usual carefree demeanor. Zayn's absence is like a massive hole in their group, and no matter how hard they try, it's something they can't ignore.
Harry and Louis, on the other hand, are different. They're closed off, withdrawn. Every word they speak feels clipped, every glance sharper than it used to be. There's an underlying tension between them, simmering just beneath the surface. Alex can see it in the way they avoid eye contact, in the silence that lingers after every conversation. She knows they're both angry, but neither of them is willing to admit it. Not to each other, and certainly not to her.
One afternoon, after a particularly quiet rehearsal, Alex finds herself alone with Harry. F the first time in days, they had some time alone, Harry seem so upset about Zayn leaving that they hadn't got any time for being together, now they were, the space feels empty. The weight of everything is suffocating. Alex knows that this moment is long overdue – they need to talk, and it has to happen now.
She takes a deep breath before speaking, trying to steady the anxiety bubbling in her chest. She can't fix everything, but she's willing to try.
"Harry... we're all hurting right now," she starts, her voice soft but determined. "But... maybe it's time to let go of the anger?"
Harry looks over at her, his jaw tightening as if he's been expecting this conversation. He runs a hand through his messy hair, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips. "It's not that easy, Alex. You don't get it. He didn't just leave. He walked out on all of us. We've been busting our arses for years, and now we've got to pick up the pieces while he takes off to do... God knows what. You've seen the pressure we're under. It's not just about the music; it's everything. And he just... walked away."
Alex winces at the harshness in his tone, but she can't say she blames him. She's angry too, but she also understands Zayn's struggle. Still, this conversation needs to happen. 
"I know," she says gently, leaning forward, her hands resting on her knees. "I'm not saying it's easy. I get it, believe me. It's been shit for all of us, Harry. But maybe... just maybe, he had to do this for his own sanity. He couldn't keep pretending everything was fine when it wasn't. You know he wasn't himself. You saw it. We all did."
Harry's eyes flicker with something—frustration, pain, maybe regret—but he doesn't let it show for long. Instead, he looks away, staring out the window, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. "Maybe. But it doesn't change the fact that he left us. Left me. I don't even know if I can forgive him for that."
Alex feels her heart tighten. She knows how close Harry and Zayn were. They'd been through so much together, shared so many moments that no one else could understand. The betrayal Harry feels is raw, and it's hard for Alex to find the right words to ease that.
"Harry..." She sighs, her voice soft but resolute. "I get it, mate. I do. I'm not saying you've gotta forgive him right away, or even at all. But holding onto all this anger isn't doing you any favours. It's just eating you up inside. And it's not helping the rest of us either. We need to be a team, especially now."
She pauses, giving him a moment to process. When he looks back at her, his expression is softer, but the hurt is still there. "I don't know if I can just let it go. He was like... family, you know? And now he's gone. Just like that. I don't know how to deal with that."
Alex gives him a small, understanding smile. "I know. And I'm not saying it's going to be easy. But we've been through so much together, Harry. We've survived stuff that would've torn other bands apart. This..." She gestures around, as if to encompass everything they've been through, "This is just another hurdle. It's going to hurt, and it's going to take time, but we'll get through it. We always do."
Harry takes a deep breath, his gaze flicking between Alex and the window again. He looks so worn out, like he's carrying a weight that no one else can see. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, they hear footsteps approaching. Niall, Louis, and Liam come back into the room, the tension palpable even before they speak. 
Niall's eyes scan the room, his smile still there but now forced, like he's doing his best to mask what's really going on inside. "Oi, you two okay?" he asks, his voice light but laced with concern.
Liam stands just behind him, looking between the pair with a worried frown. "We've been meaning to talk, actually. About... everything."
Louis walks in last, his expression unreadable, though his posture is stiff. He looks at Harry, then to Alex, but his eyes linger on Harry for a moment longer. There's an edge to his tone when he speaks, a sharpness that wasn't there before. "Well? Are we just gonna sit here and pretend everything's fine? Or are we gonna talk about what's really going on?"
Alex shifts uncomfortably in her seat, realising the conversation she had started with Harry is now going to become a group discussion, whether she's ready for it or not. 
"I don't think pretending everything's fine is gonna work anymore, Lou," she replies, her voice steady. "We all need to face this, whether we like it or not. Zayn's gone, and it's hurtful, but the anger's not gonna fix anything. We need to find a way to move forward, together."
Liam steps closer, his voice gentle. "Alex is right. I know it's tough, but we've got to support each other through this. We've lost a member, but we haven't lost what we've built together."
Niall looks at the floor, his shoulders slumped. "I don't want to lose any of you lot," he mutters, his voice small but full of emotion. "But it just doesn't feel right, does it? Not without Zayn."
Louis crosses his arms, his eyes sharp, though there's a flicker of uncertainty in his gaze. "What if he never comes back, though? What if this is it for him?"
Harry clenches his jaw, looking away again. "We can't just keep waiting for something that might never happen. He's gone, and that's that."
The room falls into a heavy silence, each person grappling with their own emotions. Alex watches them all, knowing that the road ahead is going to be long and difficult. But she also knows that they can't keep going like this. Something has to change.
"We'll find a way," Alex says softly, looking at each of them in turn. "We've got each other. We'll figure it out. But we have to let go of the anger first. For all our sakes."
No one says anything for a moment, but as the tension eases slightly, there's a sense of understanding that begins to settle in. It won't be easy, and there's no guarantee that everything will go back to the way it was. But in this moment, at least, they've taken the first step towards healing.