Burying Feelings

                                    

                                          
Fred POV
The common room was quieter than usual. I sat on one of the worn out couches with my legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. I could feel a small smile pulling on my lips for what felt like the first time in weeks. Lee was sitting in an arm chair flipping through a book with disinterest. While George was sitting in front of a coffee table working on something. 
For the first time in a while I felt different, and my friends could tell. I mean it was quite obvious I had been more relaxed these past few days than I had been all year. I wasn't entirely back to my old self. There was still something heavy brooding inside of me but I had managed to push it down far enough. 
George exchanged looks with Lee. "What's going on with you?" He asked casually but his tone was laced with curiosity. "You've been acting.... different."
Lee raised an eyebrow, never looking up from his book. "Yeah, what's up. You almost seem....hopeful?"
I chuckled softly, even though it felt fake. "Hopeful? I wouldn't go that far." I said running my hand through my hair, shifting my position on the couch. "But... I uh, I've been hanging out with Angelina again. We decided to give it another shot. We're just starting as friends for now. You know see where things go."
Lee and George froze before exchanging looks again, both of them raising their eyebrows.
"So you and Angelina are 'just friends' huh." George's voice was light but his eyes narrowed slightly. "Fred, come on. We both know that's not the full story. You're still thinking about someone else, aren't you?"
Lee set his book down, the amusement that was once on his face was now more serious. "Yeah, mate. You've been distant for weeks. You can't just turn that off. So what's really going on?"
I hesitated before answering. I felt the truth lingering in the back of my throat like a knot I couldn't untangle. All the feelings I managed to push down started to bubble to the surface. I had hoped to avoid these questions, but George and Lee knew me too well. They could see through my facade and, honestly it was starting to annoy me. 
"I'm not over Isadora alright." I said my tone quieter. "I don't think I ever will be. But I'm trying okay. I just don't want to feel like this anymore. Isadora has already moved on. I've got to do something. So.... I'm trying with Angelina. Many we can work this time."
There was a long pause before George spoke, his voice soft but steady. "Fred, you can't force yourself to move on. It doesn't work like that. You're not doing yourself or Angelina any favors by pretending."
Lee nodded in agreement, his eyes fixed on me. "And you know that, right? You can't just bury yourself feelings and hope they go away. If you're not really over Isadora, you're going to mess things up with Angelina, again."
I shift in my seat. It was not harder the ever to get comfortable. I could feel the weight of there words. I didn't like admitting the truth but I couldn't deny it either. "I know...I'm just tired of being stuck in my head all the time."
George sighed. "We're not saying you have to forget about Isadora, but don't drag Angelina in this. Don't hurt her Fred. She deserves better than that."
My gaze dropped to the floor, the words they said sinking in. They were right. I wasn't ready. But what other choice did I have. I couldn't sit around feeling like this forever. And maybe, just maybe hanging out with Angelina, even if it wasn't the right answer could give me some relief. It felt like the only option I had to feel better.
I looked back up at them forcing a small smile. "I hear you, but I've go to try. I don't know what else to do."
Lee raised his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, mate. We're just trying to look out for you."
George gave me a small pat in the knee. "Well, we've missed seeing you more like you again. Just don't get lost in the middle of it, okay?"
I nodded, smiling again only this I'm it felt natural. "Thanks, guys I'll figure it out."
The three of us went back into comfortable silence. The conversation still played through my head though. But for the first time in days I didn't feel completely lost. I wasn't found but maybe they was okay for now.