Chapter 33

                                    

                                          
Zade 
One thing I had peace of mind over was.. my home was my home. It was good to just be home with my child... away from chaos and work. Fuck... I messed up pretty badly. Natasha had blocked me everywhere... I know her pretty well and unfortunately she isn't the type of girl who lets you fool her twice...
Fuck I messed up. I had something good going with a normal girl who didn't come from craziness? Who was fun and good to be around...good for my kid?
I was a broken person. I just made bad choices... I was being stupid constantly. I slipped up and Hannah was who I went for comfort... I could just be stupid with Hannah. No complicated strings. We know what it was at this point. Just holding our feelings for each other secret whilst we just use each other for sex. 
Chanel and Mckenzie dragged me out this evening for dinner. I was day dreaming away about the million things I was thinking about... 
"Earth to Zade..." Chanel says.
"Sorry. What did you say?" I ask
"Youre sulking... its been like weeks? Are we not over the nurse?" Chanel sighs. 
"Her name is tattooed on my chest." I say. 
"You move fast." Mckenzie says laughing. 
"It did not work out... I know... I am sorry." Chanel says as she rubbed my arm. "But come one. Youre Zade Hamilton. Can we stop getting so inlove with these girls?"
"He is a lover boy? What do you expect." Mckenzie says as I chuckle. "I want to move on but I feel really bad... I tried to apologize... I rocked up to her house and her mother wouldn't let me in." I sigh. 
"Damn." Chanel says.
"She blocked me everywhere." I say. Mckenzie scrolled through his phone. "Shes finishing her shift in about an hour?" He says. "You want to go and get your closure?"
"Yeah." I say. I needed to know if I could salvage it or not.. 
We finished our food and head to the hospital. I wasn't sure what to say even. 
"Hanging out at work after your shifts over is crazy." Mckenzie says as people kept greeting him. "Sorry celebrity." I say. "Surgeon of the year." Chanel teases him as we just laugh at him.  I look up to see Natasha walk out the hospital in her pink scrubs.
"Oh wow." She says to Mckenzie. "Sorry Natasha but you been sulking and so has he so talk it out or whatever." He says as he pulls Chanel away.
"I dont wanna talk Zade..." She says. 
"I know but hear me out..." I say. "I never meant for you to get hurt."
"Save it. You were never planning on telling me." She says.  "I would have had more respect for you then." 
"I was scared." I tell her and she cocked her head to the side. "And I was humiliated, embarrassed and lied to. I feel like such a fool. I knew you didn't have it in you to be serious. You think youre so mature but youre a broken little boy who is pretending to hold it up together." She says. 
"Thats what you think?"
"I know it Zade. I thought I should be worried about your blonde ex but turns outs baby mothers always win."
"So you dont miss me." I say pulling her in. She stared at my face as she just pushed me away. "Ofcourse I do... but youre inlove with two exes apparently. I have no time in my life to go through this rollercoaster with you. I have a child who needs a happy mother." She says. 
"And I didnt make you happy?" I ask her
"Dont do that.." She says. "Just hear me out? Im sorry... I fucked up."