Don't hurt yourself

                                    

                                          
A month later
"Happy birthday Naledi!" Lwandle screamed as she snuggled me with hugs and kisses. She walked in with a pink box that had a ribbon on it and smiled. "I love you so much sis!" She continued to say as she sat next to me and handed me the box. "What is it?" I said with a crispy voice, I've been crying all night, my eyes look puffy.
I told Lwandle about Jermaine, she's the only one who knows. Telling my elders that Jermaine did what he did and that we're no longer together won't go well, especially for my dad. I don't want to get lectured and judged for trusting him and loving him. My dad is definitely going to make this a rape situation again, I'm not ready for that.
I untied the ribbon and opened the box and it was a pink Steve Madden tote bag. My eye grew larger and teary as I pulled her in for a hug. "Thank you so much Lwandle! Oh my gosh! How did you know I wanted this for the longest time?" I asked not believing my eyes.
"I know you haven't been happy for a while and you've been beating yourself up for nothing. I wanted to uplift your mood and pause all your worries" she said and I smiled. I appreciate this, it was such a nice gesture. "I have to go to work, I'll see you when I come back home" she said as she kissed my forehead. I took another glance at the bag and I kissed it as I smiled.
I haven't spoken to Jermaine for a month now and I don't care. I do crave closure, I want to know the truth about his actions. I do feel bad for cutting ties, completely but he left me no choice. He has tried to come over and talk to me but Lwandle always chases him away, as she should. He tried calling me with different numbers, I'd answer but once I hear it's him I'd hang up. I don't have time for a cheater, a liar? I don't have time for him! I'm tired of being taken advantage of, I'm tired of always giving people chances and forgiving so easily.
It's not fair for me to be in a position where I have to forgive someone who hurt me. What Jermaine did was beyond wrong, it was diabolical. How do you cheat on your pregnant girlfriend? I'm carrying his child, going through the most with this child and he was out there cheating. Sticking his dick in that girl and who knows who? I'm strongly disappointed in him, he let us down and for that, I'm not exposing my child to such nonsense.
After showering, I wore my pink summer dress. My bump is starting to show now and it suits my body. I thought I'd look weird but I don't. I gained a bit of weight and my feet are always swollen and painful. My only cravings is Sprite and home cooked meals, specifically my mom's. She started bringing me food every week because I refuse to travel to Pretoria every week. I wore my gold sandals and held up my blonde goddess braids in a pony. 
I walked downstairs and I saw a birthday present and cake on the kitchen counter. I smiled as I walked towards it and my dad was watching TV. "Happy birthday Ntombi" she said as he held me tight and kissed my cheek. "Thank you dad" I said as I opened the gift slowly. "It's not just you now, it's my little grandchild too" he said as he sat down and I laughed trying not to cry. This was the first time my dad bought my baby anything and the first time he called them his grandchild. 
I looked at the big white fluffy blanket, tiny pjs and bibs that say, "Grandpa's Food critic" and I teared up. I checked the other birthday presents and it was a Van Cleef bracelet that he probably got in France. I smiled when I saw a spa voucher and I looked at him. "Thank you so much dad! I appreciate everything you do for me and for your grandchild" I said as I hugged him again.
 "Don't cry, why are you crying?" He asked as he rubbed my back. "It's hard being pregnant dad" I said not realising I said it. Maybe that's how I've been feeling and I just haven't talked about it. "I know, I hate that you have to go through it but it's the path you chose" he said and I nodded my head as I wiped my tears.
I went back upstairs with all my gifts, I put them on my bedroom floor and grabbed my new handbag and my spa voucher. I wore my new bracelet and I smiled at how spoilt I am. I think I need to enjoy it while it lasts. While I was packing all the gifts away, I heard my dad talking to someone at the door and my eyes widened. 
I walked downstairs quickly and Jermaine stood at the door while his mom sat on the couch. I felt my blood boil and my stomach turn at the same time. "Hi Naledi" Jermaine spoke and I ignored him and walked towards his mom. Her mom opened her hand to me and I shook it. I could tell his mom was not impressed. "Can I get you something to drink?" I asked. "Water is fine" she said and I walked towards the kitchen. "Naledi, you're not going to ask Jermaine what he'd like to drink?" My dad asked and I rolled my eyes. "I couldn't care less" I said softly, making sure Jermaine heard me.