Chapter 57

                                    

                                          
"My existence will never be extinguished."
Naruto grinded her teeth together and forced herself to crawl towards the boy that pushed her to her limit. Even though they fought for a good twenty minutes, it was only after a good pummel to Gaara's face that she could beat him. She paused, blue eyes widening as she took in what he had just said and the desperation in his voice.
Despite what both Sakura and Sasuke believed, Naruto was anything but stupid. The fear and desperation coming from Gaara wasn't because of the fact that he was afraid he could die. It was the fact that she had been able to defeat him, destroying whatever perception he had about himself. She smiled bitterly. No, her beating him meant that he thinks his existence had no meaning.
She knew that feeling all too well.
We don't give money to beggars.
Tears burned through her eyes as her fingers dug through the soil, pushing herself forward. No one gave her money because of the monster inside of her. Those cold eyes looked at her, always making her wonder if she was even human to the villagers. Do I even exist? It was a question that haunted her even when she got that headband from Iruka-sensei.
She chose pranks to prove her existence, to leave her mark in this village and she understands now that Gaara chose murder and chaos. I can't blame him. If people believed that he was a monster then why not become the very thing they thought he was? She sucked in a deep breath as her heart throbbed from those terrible days.
A monster.
The soil clung to her nails as if to remind her that she was twelve now, not five. Blue eyes locked onto the terrified boy right in front of her and a part of her felt her throat dried up. Naruto? What a pretty name for a pretty girl. Mikoto had been the second person to acknowledge her, reminding her that she was a girl. Not a monster.
Did Gaara have that?
Why won't anyone look at me? Naruto wondered if hat question keeps haunting him. Am I a monster? Or am I human? Even now as she crawls to him, she asks herself this question because she doesn't know any more. She doesn't know because no matter how hard she tries to be good, no one really seems to acknowledge it. No one ever looks at her and tells her from the bottom of their heart that they don't think she was a monster.
To them, I'm simply a relic of the past that they want to get rid of. Why am I alive? Why do I even exist?
She narrowed her eyes and doesn't even cry out when her head slams down to the ground. Her blue eyes closed and a pair of sad eyes appears right before her. Oh, it was Haku. She remembers him so well because he understood her pain so well. Naruto looks up to the blue sky and the floating clouds as Haku's voice echoed in her ear along with his sad smile.
I realize that the most painful feeling is the realization that no one wanted your existence in this world.
Her throat burns when Gaara looks at her with fear in his eyes. She remembers how much those words resonate with her and she realizes that those piercing words also applied to this terrified boy right in front of her. The world around her becomes blurry and she thinks that she only had a couple of more minutes before she will pass out.
Maybe she was trying to be a hero or maybe she just wants to make a change in the world. She thinks that if it was the loneliness that destroyed Gaara then she wants him to know that there was another way to live. Gaara was terrible but he was like her. No one saved him but Naruto wants to save him.
She wants to help him even if he was her enemy.
"You know what is the most painful thing in the world? It is the pain of being ignored," Gaara stopped screaming and he looked at her with wide eyes. He parted his lips and her eyes began to tear up. "It is the pain of being lonely and I understand that pain so well."