In Hiding

                                    

                                          
LILY
I think I've wandered the entire length and breadth of the resort today. In hiding. My feet ache from all the walking, despite my copious amounts of breaks sitting down in various locations. 
Arriving at the beach to meet Loick, I sigh in contentment at the feeling of the soft sand beneath my feel. I look out at the sun, hanging low in the sky and casting a golden glow over the beach. There's not much daylight left. 
As the gentle waves lap at the shore, I make my way to a secluded spot, enjoying the feel of my feet sinking into the warm, soft sand. 
Spotting a hammock, strung between two palm trees, I walk in its direction. It sways slightly in the ocean's light almost evening breeze.  
With a heavy and nervy sigh, I sit myself down in the middle of the weaved material. Deciding not to lie down because I'll probably drift off to sleep. The rhythmic sound of the waves provide a calming back drop as I close my eyes and try to help the tension I'm feeling slip away. 
My mind has worked overtime today. It's been much noisier in there than it has in recent days. Now it's like a concert of thoughts, blaring in my head like I'm next to a speaker. 
I want my thoughts to untangle themselves and the only way I'm going to do that is reflect on the decision Loick and I made together last night. I wish this was easy. I wish the complications could just fade into the distance and leave me in this tranquil cocoon where I can just be, think clearly and enjoy the nature around me. 
"Lily?" A low voice breaks the quiet I started to enjoy. Tentatively, I open my eyes and find Loick standing by one of the hammock's supporting palm trees. He's midstep but seemingly has decided to stop himself from coming any closer. 
Not that we could be any closer now. 
"Hi," I breathe. I know this is probably not what Loick was expecting. I'm almost certain that he didn't expect to wake up alone after mind blowing sex that happened not even twenty-four hours ago. 
But I can't run from him forever. I have to talk to him, eventually. Even if I've no idea what to say. Maybe he doesn't know what to say either. 
"Are you okay?" He asks, softly. Yes. No. I have absolutely no fucking idea. How do I even respond to that? Because still, the numbness from this morning lingers within me. 
Opting to stay quiet, I simply nod yes. Uncertain whether it conveys my answer. 
There's one piece of information I want him to know before we broach the subject of last night even further. Something I know he'll ask me, so I want to beat him to the punch. 
"I don't... I don't regret last night, Lo," I admit, keeping my gaze down in the sand. In my peripheral vision I see him turn his head towards me, wearing an expression full of surprise. 
"You don't?" Relief floods his question. 
I shake my head no and pull my gaze out of the sand. He needs to know I'm not lying just to make him feel better. Or myself, for that matter. Last night isn't something to lie about. It was...  too good for that. 
Slowly, he sits down beside me on the hammock, his feet brushing the sand beneath us both. 
"We don't have to -"
"But we do, Lo. We have to talk about this. This is... this is us. And we... we... I'm so sor -"
"No, Lily," he says, sternly. 
"But -"
"I'm not letting you say sorry, Lil. Because I know that's where this conversation is heading. And... And I am anything but sorry about last night," he explains. I feel my eyes widen in surprise. I didn't expect him to be so forthright about what happened. But he is and he's owning it.