I AM Sorry

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Why did you even born.
I wish you were never born.

I'm sorry that I was;

I cry myself to sleep every night,
And try to invisible my pain with all my might.
I try to act happy and carefree
When from inside I'm nothing but ad and lonely.

I never wanted to be born,
I had no choice in it.
I never wanted to be the burden
that I mistakenly became.
I'm sorry that you have to tolerate me,
I'm sorry that you have to be bothered by me.

To have me as a child must be such a shame,
And I know your pain.
I'm sorry that I'm a shame.

I have problems that you will never know
Because sometimes,
I can't make myself to speak out loud of the things that trouble me the most,
No matter how many times I have talked about it in my mind.

Maybe I am too young but my soul is old.

I'm just a girl but my life is bore.

It's such a misery,

I don't want this either,

I'm sorry for your loss,

I'm sorry that you got me as a child,

I'm sorry I'm not that much wise.

I'm sorry.

My very existence is a doubt.
I'm unrecognisable to myself no matter how much I fought.

If I all end at once,
I would not mind.
I'll be happy I guess
Because it's suffocating and I'm suffering.

My desire to get up in the morning has faded,
And the willing to live has died.
My cheeks are the hill from where tears would run down everytime.

Always
More and
More.

My imagination are haze,
My dreams has faint.

Art isn't fun anymore,
No matter how much I try from my core.

Even, I feel like, I had forgotten how to draw.
Now I don't care about the sweet company between my hand and the pencil and pages which I used to have when I draw.

I hope you can forget about me and forgive all the mistakes of mine when I finally leaves,

But then again,

I know that I'm the child you may not even grief.

It takes me too much efforts to read a book,
I can't even make myself to cook
I know you hate me
I hate myself too.

Sorry you have to tolerate me,
I don't,
I don't want this too.

I never wanted to be the burden that I have became,
I'm sorry I never wanted to be such a shame.

That I have became.

Why did you even born.
I wish you were never born:

I'm sorry that I was;

~Psychowriter

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