Maniac

                                    

                                          
Next morning 
I went from my other class to the maths class, dreading to see Mr J. I don't know what to do about him following me and everything. I think my emotions towards him are inappropriate and I need to slow down or completely ignore him. I take my time going to his class so I'm not the first one. He has a family and my slow brain thinks it's okay to have a crush on a taken man.
I walked in and I was late, he looked at me like he is angry but I ignored him. I carried on walking to my seat and I sat down. He is one lecturer that hates inconsistency, I'm not the only learner he shouts at or scolds so him not saying anything right now is an irregularity.
"Try the sums on the board for the rest of this lesson, I don't wanna deal with inconsistent, unserious students in this class. If you're not ready to take your course seriously then I'm not going to sit here and waste my time with you all" he said as he threw the piece of chalk to the side. 
I sat there wondering what went wrong. He can't be mad at me for anything, maybe there's trouble in paradise. The sums on the board are the ones I did yesterday so I sat in class doing the next sum of work for tomorrow. 
Mo🐬
Bestie?!
Hey Bestie! I'm sorry I couldn't answer your call yesterday, I was so busy. What's up though?
We have a lot of catching up to do! There's someone new.
You know I'm pleased to hear that! No more Kabelo ! Who's this new boy?
I mean don't say it like that! We shouldn't be talking about him like that... it feels wrong
Why though? 
My lecturer...
Mo instantly called me and I stepped outside to answer it. "You're dating your lecturer!?" She screamed in excitement through the phone. My friend is one crazy person. "I'm convinced it's your kink!" I laugh through the phone. "How old is he? How is he like?" She asked and I couldn't stop laughing, my stomach started aching. "I don't know, he has a girlfriend and a newborn" I said and she paused. "That's tricky, this is such a tricky situation" she said. "Take a step back and see what he does" she said and I was shocked at her answer. "You know that power-dynamic gives me life, it turns me on!"she said and I nodded my head.
Live a little
I walked in the class while everyone was walking out. Mr J stood by the board writing sums for me and I felt my stomach turn, I have to stay with him. I felt so nervous, it felt like butterflies and my palms were sweaty. I slowly breathed in and out while I sat in my chair. 
"What did I tell you about inconsistency?" He asked as he continued to write on the board.
"I didn't know consistency is only required from students and not lecturers." I say and he chuckled and walked towards me. I calmly opened my books and tried to look past him. 
"Consistency is about self-control. Yours seems to be fading" he said softly. I looked at him and tilted my head to the side slightly. "Maybe I'm tired of being in control all the time" I said as I looked away and I felt his cold finger tips, grab my chin and move it to him so I can look him in the eye. His gaze was burning with intensity and connection, I felt the butterflies again and I tried looking away but his hand held my head up in a way that I can't move.
"Maybe you are", he whispered, his voice low and husky. "Maybe you need someone to take control for once." His fingers tightened on my chin, his touch sent shivers down my spine. He paused as his eyes were searching mine. "But I'm not sure I'm the right person for that" he said as he let go of me and walked to his office. My heart was racing, my thoughts were racing, I didn't want him to stop. That was such a perfect moment for him to ruin it like that. I stood up quickly and paced to him. "I'm your teacher after all" his words were laced with a mix of desire and restraint.
I pulled his arm to me, stopping him from walking to his office and he was surprised, I was surprised. I didn't know what to make of this, what I was doing? I don't know. I grabbed his muscular arms and stroked them from his shoulders down to his lower arms. I looked at his chest and how broad it was. When I looked up, he was already looking at me, my heart was racing as I felt his hand on my lower back and he tightened his grip. "Somehow, I find myself wanting to be the one you surrender to." He said and I blankly stared into his eyes, trying to process this information.