Author pov
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Both the bodies layed together in each other's embrace for hours after the exhaustion they felt from their love making.
The woman layed naked completely tangled in the body of her lover, the safe space of hers who faced ceiling wide awake zoned out somewhere while his hand slowly creased the woman naked back who was deep asleep.
The warmth of the body they both got from each other was the sacred space they both had shared for years and are use too, the heavy bosom of her that touch his chest was not just intimate thing between them but was the soft comfort that no other woman could provide him.
Him Being wide awake, both of them naked in the same blanket, sharing each other's body nakedness and warmth, his soothing touch to her back was not the sigh of nudity and lust but pure love and comfort he felt only with her.
His mind was chaotic but still at peace, his heart was beating slowly but still racing hard in his mind, his body was cozy, sweaty and hot but it was warm exactly he needed it to be, his mind is struggling, his heart is at peace, his body is healthy but his insides are weak, his breath is normal but his lungs are suffocated, his eyes are blank staring at the ceiling but holds a dream, his ears are listening to her breathing but are deaf by the sound of his heart breaking.
Nihal looked at the wall clock it's five in the morning, he looks down at his wife who is sleeping peacefully like an angel, he kissed her hair and tried to close his eyes to sleep but sleep si far away from him.
After a moment he felt a kiss on his chest looking down he felt ticklish as she rubbed her nose on his chest "ummm so kyu ni rahe? " She looks up at him with half closed eyes.
" Ese hi " He said making her little irritated, "ese hi kyu fir bhi? " He looks at her and then sighs "gunu I have to go on a business trip " Her eyes flashes fear for a second, she gets up on her elbow and looks at him.
Looking at the unknown vulnerability in his wife's eyes, nihal pull her towards him making half of her body lands on him, her naked body touched his sending a shiver to both of them, her face in the crook of hus neck, she balances herself by resting on his shoulder.
Nihal pulls her closer to him, tightly embracing her in his embrace, both Sensing each other's vulnerability hugged each other, she plays with his exposed nipple while he glides his fingers in her hair detangling them, both were trying to comfort each other feeling certain strangeness that squeezed their heart inside while leaving a sour taste on their tongue, both shared a much needed silence between them in the three years.
The closeness with each other is peaceful and calming they felt, the farness leading them is settling slowly and strategically beneath the land of trust and time they both built their little world on was slowly clashing after the wall slowly gunu broke between them after the tragic loss of theirs three years.
Both of them were chaotic inside, one is fearing separation of them to loose it to the other woman she was and is always insecure of, while the other was chaotic inside for upcoming events about to unfold in his life.
He who stood on the dead end of his life right now wanted nothing but happiness for everyone, she who stood in the middle road of her ignored feelings for long and insecurities wanted nothing but liberation from all.
"Ahrm gungun mera jana bhot jaruri hai and mujhe ek do mahine lag sakte hai " He said while clearing his voice trying to find his voice as he fought with his heart and mind inside, heart waned to stop to her and ignite the lost feelings on her move to get intimate willingly yesterday, while the mind wanted to go and fulfill his responsibility that awaited for him , more like dependent on him.
"Jana bhot jruri hi kya ' she asked tried to look up but his hnd pushed her bck to her position not wanting to look in her eyes at the moment scared and anxious.
" Hmm bhot jaruri hai " He replied to her as a bitterness left in his mouth at the harsh reality he is facing now, while her heart felt an emotion of longing and attachment and her mind mocked her for loosing the time she could have revived and built her relationship back to normal wth him, subconsciously she is very scared maybe her gut screaming her of the tsunami coming to destroy her life once and for all.
He slightly moved to the side opening the drawer he took hout his cigarette one of the habit he got in three years, taking the lighter he lit the cigarette with shaky and trembling hands while his woman watched his every action under her beautiful and killing gaze.
The anxiety surrounded him as he frantically tried to lit the poisonous stick that could only give him relief from all the suffocated emotions turmoil clouding his mind.
Once successfully he took a long drag of his cigarette he felt the throbbing pain in his mind subsiding a bit giving him a relief , he rested his back to the headboard of his bed, ignoring her gaze he lean back and closed his eyes releasing the smoke he felt the ecstasy that even she might not give him.
After the drag he greedily took more and more while his stick came to end, while gunu layi g her head on her husband's lap watched him in worry, she blinked her eyes not more than twice and the thing in his hand ended.
"Nihal itni kyu peete ho tum marna hai kya tumhe? " She asked him anxiously as she watches him getting another one, slight intoxication of the stick is slowly clouding his nerves trying to get another, he raised his eyes finally setting on his woman in anger and frustration.
Looking at the box and cigarette in her hands he felt the anger in him building up and ready to buble out as he saw her crushing the stick in his hand and throwing in a certain corner of their room.
"Pagal ho gyi hi kya what the fuck gungun " He said to her in frustration, she took notice of him taking her name not calling her by hr pet name the bitterness Lingered in her heart, trying to ignore she moved herself to hug him.
But looking at his action of backing of and focusing on the packet laid on the ground than her, made her feel sad, she cupped his face and asks him soft caring voice "why do you have to smoke so much, the day haven't even started yet"
Pushing her hand with a slight jerk, he in irritation and slight intoxicating and urge to get more snapped at her softly yet harshly "oh fuck the damn day, the reason I smoke is you gungun, you don't even let me breathe sometimes...... U know what I am getting ready to go "
Looking at her husband going away from her away more and more, pulled back her anxiety and insecurities, the harshness of his touch sliced her heart and hope to pieces, looking at him getting wasted in alcohol and drugs made her heart tremble in fear to loose him both physically and emotionally.
Nihal got ready packing his bag for business trip with a chaotic mind of guilt and sadness and a hope for space while gungun as usual carried hr daily routine both of them did not faced each other trying to keep themselves busy as they knew one of them could really breakdown and the other won't survive as well.
At eleven in the morning he came out of his office trying to walk straight to the door leading outside as if running away from them but was stopped when he saw her standing outside I the garden waiting for him.
Keeping his luggage in the car he get inside as she open the gate for him to leave the house and her, while he takes his car out of the main gate of the house to leave them and her.
She stand on the gate looking at him with longing, he comes out of the car and looks at her with longing,, both stare each other for second, moving to her he cups her face and mumbles a "sorry" While her lips automatically replies him "it's ok "
He bend down a little and kiss her forehead lingering his gentle touch and love looking at her eyes, her lips didn't said but heart is screaming inside take me with you, and his lips didn't confess but heart is screaming he is so sorry, for your better tomorrow he turns back and moves to the car and rides off as slowly tears makes its way to his eyes. While she keeps on looking at his fading car with a longing as tears pours out of her eyes without any stoppage.
