Hanni
Instead of that,
I was met with my butt meeting the ground.
"Oh my god—Hanni. Why did you kiss me! Are you still drunk?" I glared at Minji as I tried to stand up. What the actual fuck just happened? Did she really shove me away?
My advances have never been rejected before and my pride is hurt right now.
"I should take you out on dates before anything! Hanni!" Minji was whining and my face softened a bit. This was like the daily reminder that not everyone are some crazy sex addicts with kinks. Which was...fine. Minji made it fine.
"Oh! I'm so sorry!" Minji finally came over to aid me on standing up and I couldn't help but smile at how cute she looks being all nervous. And that's when it clicked, dates?
"I never thought you'd be into me in any way! I mean, I really don't know what you're all attracted about. If it's because I have a giant bulge or something. I wouldn't be surprised." I looked at Minji as if she had busted my cover and her face saddened. And I was suddenly feeling so guilty.
Minji plopped back down on the couch and looked at her hands. "It's always the same thing, you know? No one is ever attracted to me for being myself. It's always because of this stupid thing." Minji gestured to the bulge that for the first time, I didn't want to look at.
"If you want to sleep with me, just say so." Minji mumbled and I tilted my head as I took a step closer to her. "Even though I'm so into you, it wouldn't matter. You want me for an only one time thing and then I'm thrown out. Great, just great. The girl I like just likes my dick. Can't my day get any better?" Okay, the way she worded it, really made me feel so horrible.
She seemed genuinely upset.
And not only that, she just gradually confessed that she likes me and it makes this ten times worse.
"Minji." I called out and she looked up at me. Her eyes showed how hurt she was. And honestly, if I was speaking with my heart for just one single moment, I might actually have a tiny crush on Minji.
Aside from all of the sex filled dreams.
There was a lot of things about Minji that makes my heart thump in a way it never has. Maybe it's the way that she's such a sweet person, she's always been so thoughtful of others. Especially towards me.
On my birthday, she gifted me this beautiful vanity that she made with her own hands. That was extremely sweet and just so kind. And it by then, had been only three months since she moved in. And it's all because I told her that I would be buying a new one because I started to dislike my old one.
Minji always helps me with house repairs, does plumbing work for me, and even at one point helped with changing the floor of my room just because she knew how expensive it was. And since she pretty much knows how to do everything and anything, she uses her knowledge for me.
"Let's just get it over with, if you want." She mumbled as she tried to make the effort on taking her shirt off but I stopped her. "Minji, no." I said and she furrowed her eyebrows. "Listen to me first?" She let out a sigh as she slumped her back on my couch again.
I took a deep breath before speaking, maybe it's time for me to stop thinking with my head and actually start feeling with my heart.
"I do want to sleep with you, but I want for us both to be on the same page." I said and she looked even more confused. "I won't sleep with you if it hurts you, Minji." I said and she looked down. "I want you, Minji. I can't deny that. But I've also never been...in love? I don't know about that stuff, Minji. But I care about you, and you mean something to me." I said and her eyes softly looked back up at me.
"And yes, I-I've thought of stuff and was attracted to you based on desire." I said and Minji seemed to be getting sad again. I've never spoken about my own feelings before either! Someone help me?
"But! It's a little different now. I've always thought with my head—god, I suck at speaking—what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying to feel, Minji." I said and she looked even more confused. "Forget it." I said as I plopped down next to her.
I felt a hand grab my own and I turned to look at Minji who was looking at me with a little smile. "I've always understood you, Hanni." She said with that soft tone of voice and I looked away from her. This is kind of like a lesson. I'll never desire like this ever again.
She's too much of a sweet person for me to be thinking and wanting something like this from her. I let out a sigh and Minji scooted a bit closer to me.
"You caring about my feelings speaks a lot about what you're thinking." She said and I turned to look at her again. "At least give me one date, just one." She emphasized this by sticking one finger out in front of my face with a little smile. She was such a dork.
"And then, we'll sleep together and it'll be a one time thing. I'll be happy that I at least get to spend a couple of hours with you in the way I dreamt of all along." She said with a slight tint on her cheeks.
And then it all made sense.
She has always been crushing on me hard. Her cheeks always tinting and that oddly cute behavior towards me. Oh my, Minji Kim, the woman you are.
"That doesn't feel fair." I said. And see, when I'm not a sexually obsessed woman. I'm just like every other woman that walks in this earth. I actually care.
"Well, think of it as a win-win situation." And I shook my head. "I think I have a crush on you, Minji." There, I said it. Minji's eyes widened as she looked at me. "What?" She asked still surprised and I couldn't help but smile.
"You're a good person, Minji. And I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way. I just never really feel with my heart. It's always me thinking with my head. And I truly do feel horrible for it all." I said and she looked away from me. "I've always liked you, Hanni. You kind of struck my heart the moment I saw you for the first time." She said and my eyes widened.
"That's why me and my ex-girlfriend truly broke up. I told her I was falling for someone else and that I couldn't keep up with a relationship I didn't want anymore. And then she kind of went off about only liking me for the sex." She said and my eyes widened even more. "I thought of confessing a thousand of times but I just didn't know how it'd go." She said scratching her chin.
"I mean, you want me too. And I can't really complain about that. But I really wished it would've been because you liked me too. Not that you should feel bad about anything, you've been alone for a while and I wouldn't mind helping you out for a night." She said and I frowned.
"I don't want a one time thing, Minji. I really want you, but I don't think I can do any of this knowing that you truly feel something for me. I've never been in a relationship but it doesn't mean that it would bother me to try." I said and now it was the turn for my cheeks to heat up.
Honestly speaking, Minji could make any woman happy. And a part of me truly wants to be that woman. And maybe I should set those needs and desire aside and truly settle in.
"You've always been such a good person to me, and it only seems fair for me to try a little more. We want one another in some similar way, and I really just don't want to hurt you. I'm surprised no one has liked you, every little thing you do has my heart thumping inside my chest." I said that with honesty, because maybe it's what she needs to hear.
I have no idea what I'm getting myself into, but I'm sure Minji will hold my hand through all of this and I have no clue for how long I'll be able to hold myself back from humping her bulge but I'll try. Just for her.
She's special to me.
Believe it or not, I really do care for her.
"I don't want you to force yourself to do anything you don't want. We can just sleep together and that's it." She said and I shook my head. She's still thinking of me and not herself. "I want to try, I'm not going to be perfect and I'm definitely going to have a hard time to get your dick out of my head, but I'll manage for you." I said and she gave me sweet little smile that later turned into straight out laughing.
"It's a date then."
And with that, she leaned in and kissed my cheek.
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