20. Bunny

                                    

                                          
I hate him so much, I thought bitterly, but not nearly as much as I hated myself. The shame settled low in my stomach, a painful reminder of what had just happened between us. 
I could still feel the heat of him, the aftermath of every reckless choice I’d made today. My body, traitor that it was, hadn’t resisted him. Instead, it had betrayed me in the worst possible way. How could I let myself fall for this again?
The rain drummed hard against the windows as Levi drove, a cocky smirk plastered across his face. He knew what he’d done. That expression told me everything—I’d played right into his hands, and he was enjoying every second of it.
I hate him so fucking much.
But the words stayed trapped in my throat, suffocated by the humiliation twisting through me. The silence between us was suffocating, too thick to break, and I had no idea what to say even if I wanted to. 
I crossed my arms tight against my chest, trying to focus on anything but the sting of my own weakness. Why didn’t I stop him? Why didn’t I say no when he kissed me? Why had I given in? My cheeks burned as I replayed every moment, every shameful second. 
This was wrong. It had been wrong from the start. 
I hated how right he thought he was, how easily he had broken me down piece by piece until I gave in. My stomach twisted in knots. Does he see me differently now? As just another girl he’s conquered, another name on his list? The shy friend who couldn’t resist a long dick.
When we pulled up in front of my apartment, I couldn’t even look at him. My pulse raced, each thud a mix of anger and embarrassment.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Levi finally said, his voice deep and smooth, cutting through the silence like a knife.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I shot back, trying to sound steady, even though I felt anything but. “I can’t believe we did that... again.”
He glanced at me, an eyebrow raised, still maddeningly calm. “What? You regret it already?”
The nerve of him. My stomach churned. “I told you I wasn’t interested. And you—” I faltered, hating the way my voice shook. “You just had to push it.”
His smirk widened, cutting deeper. “First, I kissed you to prove how much you love me. Then, we did it. And when I asked if I should stop, you said no. What was I supposed to do, Bunny?”
“If I didn’t say no, it was because I was caught up in the moment. It didn’t mean I wanted it—” My words came out in a rush, and I stumbled over them, feeling the weight of them in my chest. “I don’t want this. I don’t want to keep feeling awful after every single time.”
He sighed dramatically, as if my words were nothing more than a nuisance. “You’re so impossible. Do you even hear yourself? You’re scared. Scared that I’m not serious about you. Scared that I’ll leave. I get it. I’ve never taken relationships seriously before, but I love you, B. More than anything.”
I whipped my head toward him. “Stop calling me that!”
He leaned in closer, his voice dropping lower. “I’ll call you many things, B. I’ll call you sweetheart, or babe, my love or honey..Whatever sweet name I want.”
“I hate you so much.”
“We both know you don’t, love.”
I swallowed back the retort burning on my tongue. He was getting under my skin, again, just like he always did. But I couldn’t let him win this time.
“Just... just drop me off,” I muttered. I needed space. Air. Anything to get away from the weight of this.
Levi finally pulled to a stop outside my apartment, but he didn’t move. His eyes stayed on me, watching, waiting for something. I reached for the door handle, desperate to escape, but his voice stopped me cold.