Twenty-Five

                                    

                                          
Notes: HII I'M BACKKKK(am i tho??) Sooooo ik I haven't update in likkeeeee months but I'm backkk. I wanna say thank you for 10k<3333 it means a lot that you're reading my silly little storiesss speaking offf my writing style is lowkey popping off??? And I definitely have to revise like all my oneshots and write some new stuff in my "new style" bc TEHEHEHEH this one i shot but its gooddd. If you couldn't tell by the title yes its angst:((( I'm sorryyyy and it's pretty shoort but that's okay. I need ideas BADLY likkeee requests and ideas are HIGHLY appreciated. More notes at the enddd
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        The unknown is a dreadful concept.
        Horrid and cruel to those who are aware that something is going to happen... just not how, when–?
       Thoughts like these were an eternal plague to your mind ever since your lovely husband, Tanjiro Kamado, had told you of the curse he was inflicted with during the war against Muzan Kibutsuji eight years ago. It's just– how is someone meant to take such news? – when they believed they had the entirety of their lives to immortalize themselves to one person and one person alone? He had attempted to ease your nerves, that night one year ago today when you were enlightened about the inevitable damnation he was sought to, by informing you that your dear sister-in-law and her husband would be insistent on being there for you. That they would aid you with the care of your children and would ease your stress. Despite the endearing reassurance, you couldn't help but allow the swelling in your chest to flourish into deeper exasperation.
        Your time with your beloved was being robbed– your children's time with their father was being robbed. This just wasn't fair... it's not fair.. It's not–!
        "Love...?"
        You hadn't realized that your grip on the wet cloth you were wringing dry had tightened almost to the degree that it felt your heart was being squeezed. That in the flurry of overwhelming thoughts consuming your mind until it spread like a virus throughout your entire being your dams walls had shattered like crystalline glass and you were left a weeping mess. The same mess you had tried to swallow down and ignore, for his sake you just didn't want to spend his last few days in a state of despair. It was the last thing he deserved, to have to part from the world with his last moments being devoted to the comfort of his soon to be widowed wife.
        "Darling–!"
        You could break down after he was gone. Not now, just keep it together, keep it together–!
	        "Y/n!"
        His voice edged on a sharp cry, such an perturbed tone for a melody so hoarse. His gentle voice attempted to soothe and coax you into smoother and more steady breaths, yet it seemed you couldn't cease your harsh and stuttered sobs despite his persistent efforts. Crystalline tears pooled and spilled in a constant flux of movement from your tired eyes, everything you had so intently numbed yourself from suddenly feeling intense and overwhelming. You couldn't even handle your grief now, what kind of mess were you going to become after he was gone–?
        "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here, you're safe. I'm safe, everything is okay–"
        "You liar!" Despite your harsh words you buried your face deeper into his chest and basked in his warmth to remind yourself he was still here. His arms returned your supplicatious plea for his touch, holding you so tenderly that you could almost forget the impending fate he was born to meet. "You're not safe, everything is not okay!" You twisted in his arms and looked up at him through your tears. Perilous dull washed over your usually luminous hues. 
        He knew that you had to have been holding something like this in but he didn't understand just how appreciably the emotions in your heart had been. Oh you. He had long ago came to terms with the fact that he was inevitably going to depart from this life. Maybe it was even a soothing thought when the survivors' guilt of the war came to swallow him whole in the depths of anguish. But the look that twisted your beautiful and usually peaceful visage when he told you? Contrition squeezed at his heart. He was only mortified by the thought of death when he remembered he'd be leaving you and your lovely children behind.
        What if he didn't meet you in the afterlife when death came? What if–?
        He took a deep breath before sighing it out, the warmth tickling the crown of your head. He couldn't let those thoughts get to him. Not now. He couldn't allow you to fall into further perturbation because of his own fears.
        "I'm sorry, Y/n. I wish I could stay here on Mount. Kutomori with you and our children forever. But I have to go. I'll be okay waiting for you wherever it is my soul passes onto." His words' efforts were to sooth you. Reassurance that he didn't fear death and that he was absolutely positive you would meet again. In a way, those thoughts did calm you. Until you remembered all of those irresolute possibilities truly were ambivalent. Not even the warmth of his body flush to yours or his heart beating steadily against your palm could help your mind pacify.
        But you couldn't dwell on such morbid thoughts right now. After all, the fears that plagued you were just uncertain possibilities. He was what was important now.
        "I..." You pushed away from him. "I'm making dinner right now. Your favorite, I even found your mother's old recipe book and got some tips on how to make it even more perfect than usual." You breathed in shaky breaths before exhaling them in an effort to stay tranquil. 
        Such a sight vexed him. He knew you just as well as he knew himself and you knew him even better. Neither of you would fall for this feigned halcyon act you so desperately attempted to hold up. 
        You turned away from him and continued morphing rice crackers with shaky hands. Tremors so violent that you couldn't even properly grasp the food you were attempting to form before a warm body enveloped your own. Large and rough hands took hold of your cold and slender ones. His hold was steady and firm, body warm and comforting as he pressed against your back. 
        "Let's make dinner together, okay, sweetheart? Then we can cuddle before bed. Would you like that?" His tone was so soft and cosseting, voice a sound so mellifluous it could truly calm you down from any heightened panic. Melting into his arms, you let out a shaky sigh. Your heart beat slowed from its erratic pulses and resonated with his.
        "Yeah... that sounds nice, Tanjiro."
        Such things seemed only befitting for a normal day. Cuddles, warmth, and love. But this wasn't a normal day.
	        As it was his last.
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I'm so sorry :((( buttttt!!! I have a new book >:D 
it's called "Transgression" and it's about Arthur Pendragon from the Seven Deadly Sins universe and you shoulld check it outtttt if your an arthur simp like i ammm bc he's soooo JEFSNIRNFD anywho! Trust I'll come out with something fluffy(or spicy--) WOAHHH WHO SAID THAT for our pretty sunshine boy soon enough! (again i need ideas pls) okay i'll stop yapping now byeeeee