Chapter 004: The Dream

                                    

                                          
Ethan woke up with a start, his heart pounding. He blinked, disoriented, and looked around the room. It was still dark outside, and the only sound was the soft rhythm of your breathing beside him. His forehead was damp with sweat, and his chest felt tight. The dream had felt so real too real.
In the dream, he had told you the truth about his cancer. He had watched as your face crumpled in pain, your eyes filled with tears. You cried, asking him why he hadn't told it to you sooner. The guilt in the dream was unbearable, and the fear of losing you had weighed him down. Even though it was just a dream, the emotions clung to him like a heavy blanket.
Ethan lay back down, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm his racing heart. He ran a hand over his face, trying to shake off the remnants of the nightmare, but the fear remained. The thought of telling you still terrified him. The dream had shown him exactly why he was so scared he didn't want to see you heart break. He didn't want to face the pain it would cause, for you or for himself.
As he lay there in the dark, Ethan wondered how much longer he could keep up this charade. The secret felt like it was crushing him, and every day, it became harder to act like everything was fine. But telling you meant facing the reality of the situation facing the fact that he was running out of time.
He turned his head to look at you who was still fast asleep beside him. You looked so peaceful, yout face relaxed, your lips slightly parted. Ethan's chest ached with love for you, but also with fear. How could he ruin this for you? How could he be the one to bring sadness into your life?
Ethan closed his eyes again, hoping to fall back asleep, but his mind wouldn't stop racing. He replayed the moment from the dream over and over in his head, imagining different ways the conversation could go. Maybe you would be angry with him for hiding it. Maybe you would be devastated, unable to cope. Or maybe, worst of all, you would try to stay strong for him, even though he knew it would break you inside.
Eventually, Ethan gave up on trying to sleep. He quietly got out of bed, careful not to wake you, and tiptoed into the living room. The apartment was quiet and still, and the faint glow of the streetlights outside cast soft shadows on the walls.
Ethan sat down on the couch, staring out the window. His mind wandered back to the diagnosis, replaying that awful moment in the doctor's office when his whole world had changed. The doctor's voice had been calm but firm as he explained the seriousness of Ethan's condition. There had been no sugarcoating it Ethan had only eight months to live, and even that was uncertain. There were treatment options, but the chances were slim.
Since that day, Ethan had been living in denial, trying to pretend that things were normal. But the truth was always there, lurking in the back of his mind, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it.
Ethan ran a hand through his hair, feeling a wave of frustration wash over him. Why did this have to happen to him? Why now, when everything in his life was finally falling into place? He had a great job, a wonderful girlfriend, and a future that seemed so bright. And now, everything had been turned upside down.
He let out a long sigh, leaning back against the couch. He knew he couldn't keep avoiding the truth forever. Eventually, you would have to know. But how could he bring himself to do it? How could he sit you down and tell you that the life they had planned together was slipping away?
Ethan's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of soft footsteps. He turned to see you standing in the doorway, rubbing your eyes sleepily.
"Ethan, darling? What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice laced with concern. "It's the middle of the night."
Ethan quickly forced a smile, trying to hide the turmoil inside him. "I couldn't sleep," he said, keeping his voice light. "I didn't want to wake you."
You walked over and sat down beside him on the couch, your brow furrowed with worry. "You've been having trouble sleeping a lot lately," you said softly. "Is something on your mind?"
Ethan's heart pounded in his chest. This was it. This was the perfect moment to tell you everything. You was asking him directly, concerned and ready to listen. But once again, the words wouldn't come. The fear gripped him too tightly.
"I'm just stressed," he said instead, looking away. "Work has been a lot lately."
You studied him for a moment, then placed a hand on his arm. "Ethan, you know you can talk to me, right? You don't have to keep everything inside."
Ethan nodded, feeling the familiar guilt rise up inside him. He hated lying to you, but he just couldn't bring himself to tell the truth. Not yet.
"I know," he said quietly. "I'm just trying to figure things out on my own first."
You gave him a small smile, though he could see the concern still lingering in her eyes. "Okay," she said softly. "But I'm here if you need me."
He leaned over and kissed you on the forehead, grateful for your understanding, even though he didn't deserve it. "Thanks," he whispered. "I love you."
"I love you too," you replied, resting your head on his shoulder.
They sat there in silence for a while, the quiet of the night surrounding them. Ethan felt a mixture of peace and guilt. He was happy just being with you in that moment, but he knew that the peace wouldn't last. The longer he waited to tell you the truth, the harder it would be. He was trapped between wanting to protect you and knowing that he couldn't hide this forever.
Eventually, you stood up, giving him a tired smile. "Let's go back to bed," you said, taking his hand. "We both need some sleep."
Ethan nodded, following you back to the bedroom. He climbed into bed beside you, feeling the weight of his secret heavier than ever. He lay awake for a long time after you had fallen asleep, his mind racing with all the things he couldn't say.
He knew that the dream had been a warning a sign that he couldn't keep avoiding the truth. But the thought of actually saying the words out loud still terrified him. For now, all he could do was hold onto the moments you guys had, hoping that somehow, some way, he would find the strength to tell you before it was too late.
As he finally drifted off to sleep, the weight of his secret remained, pressing down on him like a heavy blanket, a constant reminder of the ticking clock that hung over both of you.