Chapter 31

                                    

                                          
"Father" i called out to my father and he came running in looking around "Is there something wrong?" he asked and i shook my head "i am fine Father sorry to worry you i just want to let you know i am heading out just for a little while" 
"Are you sure you should be heading out"
"I'll be out just a little while i'll even take Jeremy with me" my father looked at me for a moment before nodding. I called to Jermey as i made my way downstairs and into the carriage "Jeremy!" i called out as he took his seat in the front "Yes Lady Blackwood?"
"Come sit with me back here please" he hesitated for a moment before nodding and getting into the carriage with me. It was silent before a spoke up "Jeremy?"
"Yes, Lady Blackwood?"
"You don't have to call me that when we are alone..do you have a wife or someone you are courting if you do not mind me asking"
"Yes i am her name is Jennifer we are to be married but i do not have a ring for her yet" I nodded as i listened to him speak "You have been beside me from the moment i stepped foot back here i can ... if you would like i can get you the ring and pay for your wedding" he looked at me shocked "are you jesting?" i shook my head no "i would like to pay for it if you would allow me too" 
"Yes thank you very much" he hugged me and his body stiffened before pulling away " i am sorry" i smiled at him "no need to be sorry it is quiet alright" looking outside we made it to Lady Danbury's house i told Jermey he can stay here he nodded walking today Lady Danbury's house i headed upstairs to see Kate and Edwina "Esmeralda! You should not be up on your own" Edwina replied standing up from the seat by the window.
"I am feeling much improved the most rested I have felt in years, after a week in bed, in fact"
"It has been a rather strenuous season" 
"Edwina, I know earning your trust again will not be simple but I am willing to continue to try, however long it might take" 
"When you were unwell all I cared about was you getting better but now that you are, I do have questions" she said sitting down as i just looked at her preparing for the worst question that could be made. "Was there always something between you and the Viscount? Were you lying to me all along?" 
"I was lying to myself never you Edwina there was something between us when we where younger yes, but when i left that was it" 
"And when you came back?" 
"Perhaps... there was something between us but I truly did not know it until it was too late I did not want anything to do with Anthony at that time my only concern was you and your family" 
"But once you knew, why did you not tell me? Why wait for me to put it together on my own like a fool?" 
"I thought I could deny my feelings but-" 
"They were too strong" i looked down not wanting to meet her eyes but she continued to speak "When I found out about your accident all I could think of was how I do not even know you. Nor do you know yourself. Izzie, I am done with playing a part I want to know myself, truly and to know who you are too because I am unsure I like the young ladies we've both been playing" she said smiling and i chuckled softly. "Might we bring our new selves to this ball the Featheringtons are giving tonight?" I smiled down at her "Oh, Edwi"
"I do not want you to attend for me whatever action you now wish to take I only hope it is because you are being truthful to yourself and not because of anyone else" i smiled nodding at her "i will be there because it is something i truly want to do" i said and we hugged. 
Letting go i wiped a tear away "i will be there" i said smiling "i should get ready i believe" Edwi smiled nodding whipping one of my tears away "I will see you there" i replied giving her hand a little squeeze before walking out her room and downstairs to see Lady Danbury "is everything alright" she said looking me over and i nodded "yes everything is alright very much so i will see you at the Featherington's ball"