...
Cas awoke before Sam did. And he yawned with a slight stretch at his limbs, groaning before he feels movement next to him and stills to looks over. The sight almost makes his heart stop. Probably even melt if possible. Only it's quite the opposite. It accelerates. Sam with his hair all mussy, body half covered by wrinkled sheets, face so peaceful as sun kisses him warmly on the side of his face.
And Cas reaches out, gingerly, sighing as his hand touches Sam's slight stubble at his cheek. He wishes to wake to the sight every other morning after. He leans closer until his head is atop the others bare breathing chest. Closes his eyes in this sweet bliss and awaits until his lover wakes up.
...
Dean is up and working in the kitchen, he doesn't know what took the younger Winchester 2 hours of burning sun to wake, maybe the smell of breakfast or the sound of pats and pans moving, but it does the trick nonetheless.
Not that Cas got bored within the time, he'd shifted from his position, moving and positioning Sam's stray hair (more like goofing off in it, smiling with some strands stuck up, or even curled around Sam's handsome face even) and all in all simply staring. He could never tire from such a view. And as he watched the yellow almost cover his face and he yawns softly opening his eyes to Castiel's blue ones, Cas wants to engrave the memory deep in mind.
Until his lover is smiling at him lovingly and giving him a quick peck on his lips pulling him from his trance, surprised. Cas would get upset at this, wanting to kiss back, but Sam is pulling him from bed, (he doesn't know where he finds the energy to) and holding his hand all the way to the kitchen. Cas doesn't protest.
...
It's the middle of the day and Cas finally tunes in to the bickering of the two Winchester's.
"C'mon! If we hit 'em from the outer entrance, they'd never see it coming. The oldest tactic in the book. It'll work, Sammy! It's genius." The older says, swiping hid feet upon the table as he leans on the back feet of the chair in a worrying angle. It seems only Cas has seen it as Sam is too busy arguing back.
"No, Dean. Not the most genius idea in the book." His face a frown as he shoots back. Dean groans with closed eyes, Cas watches the chair tilt more. "If we do that. We'd have to consider the possibilities of even more unplanned complications to this case and-"
"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. When are you gonna learn. The consequences are zero to none. Look! Alright, here's the deal." Sam holds back his thought, the crease in his forehead still present. Cas wants to wash it away but he knows better than to intervene in the brother's converses. His own ideas kept to himself.
Then Dean is looking at him, something in his eyes that he can't place and makes Cas worry with anticipation. "Castiel, my friend. Why don't you knock some sense into your-"
"Dean!"
"Fine," he draws out in reluctance, but Cas is left confused at where exactly this is headed. "Just do me a favor and tell us which one of us actually making sense." Dean is pointing from himself then at Cas and that seems to finally break it. The long awaiting imbalance to make the chair back a little too far. And he sees the exact moment the fear of regret splash in the Winchester's eyes. The timely reaction of Sam coming right after. And Cas sees it fit to tune back out.
He couldn't focus at all the morning. A dream so haunting that it stung in his stomach. Making him dizzy. He couldn't recall, no matter how hard he tried at exactly what the dream consisted of.
But the more he tried to fit it to something the more it seemed that it was really a nightmare. And he concluded that his mind had shut it out from him. And he hates it really. Dreams never made themselves known when he was an angel. Now that he wasn't, they occurred more often than he'd like. Usually such dreams were made up of bees, sometimes intriguing food, the stars and even Sam. But this was far from it. This was a nightmare. And he couldn't go to Sam as he didn't know what to say. So he'd kept to himself as he tried to regain it by himself. Not so lucky as it turned to be.
Then Sam is touching his shoulder, bringing him from his thoughts. A worrying look that Cas wipes away with a reassuring smile, Sam doing the same as he says that he and Dean have came to a conclusion. Though the older seems to have more to say as he mumbles under his breath. A slap to his head, on where he fell, from Sam, shutting him up for good.
...
He couldn't understand what led to this. The body laying heavy in his arms as eyes threatened to spill over. His lips quivering.
Castiel only turned his back for one second. He and Dean were splitting away from Sam to cover more ground in the abandoned barn. And as he went on his way he heard it. The slow and agonizing sound of something sharp slicing through flesh. And when he looked back the silence was loud and ringing in his ears.
That's how he found himself here. Sobbing as he rocked back and forth with Sam clutched tight to his chest. He kept shaking his head as he saw blood seeping onto the wooden floor. Hands combing through Sam's hair ever so gently.
He couldn't place where Dean was at this time.
"Sam- Sam. Can you you hear me? Please stay awake, please-" he cut himself off with another sob. Eyes shut so tight that he wished he'd open them and tell himself it was only a bad dream. He looked out again, it was a nightmare.
Sam reached up and touched his wrist on the hand that was cradling his face. Failing at a reassuring smile as he spoke slow, "It's- Cas... It's okay Cas. It'll be fine- okay-" he only shook his head and his eyes were blurry with tears. Blood probably already coating his clothing but he could careless.
He touched his head to the younger and didn't bother to reply. And it stayed that way until he could hear distant footstep. Sam's eyes weren't looking at his anymore. And he begged his heart not to break. But it was happening and he watched. Watched how Sam drew his last breath to say a few words. Watched as his hands shook and body felt frozen. Watched as Sam finally gave in. He could hear the words still, echoing in his head.
Cas watched Dean hold on to his brother and he stood and stared. He could still see the dying words from his lover's arms.
"This isn't goodbye... Please don't blame your- yourself."
And he'd never forget them until the day he died...
But something haunted him more, coming to the sudden realization, that this was his nightmare. He was too late- he could've avoided this-
