Umaasa

                                    

                                          

Nilibot ang tahanan
Tagpuan, wala ka
Pa'no hihilom ang sugat
Na gawa sa pagmamahalan?
Pagmamahalan
Risa was sitting on the floor, playing with her granddaughter, a bright and curious girl who was the spitting image of her mother, Risa's eldest daughter. As they built a tower of blocks, the little girl's innocent curiosity suddenly broke the playful silence.
"Mommy La, I heard you had a relationship with a girl before. How was it?"
The question caught Risa off guard, and for a brief moment, she was speechless. She looked at her granddaughter, trying to read where the question had come from.
"Where did you hear that, anak?" Risa asked gently, her voice steady but her eyes sharper now.
"I overheard tito Kiko and tita Sinta talking about it," her granddaughter admitted, her small hands fidgeting with the blocks.
Risa sighed softly. "Next time, anak, huwag ka makikinig sa usapan ng adults, okay? Hindi maganda ang makialam sa hindi para sa atin."
"But I was curious. They made it sound like a big deal." Her granddaughter's innocent eyes searched Risa's face for answers.
"Well, sa pagkakaalala ko," Risa began, choosing her words carefully, "wala naman akong naging girlfriend. Sometimes, things we overhear aren't what they seem."
"But that's how I understood their conversation."
"Exactly," Risa said, her tone firmer now but still warm. "Kaya nga dapat hindi ka basta nakikinig sa ganoon. We all have different interpretations, lalo pa kung hindi naman first-hand na ikinuwento. People add or take away details, anak."
Her granddaughter's brow furrowed in thought. "Then, what was it about?"
Risa paused, her mind going back to memories she hadn't thought about in years. "I don't know exactly what you're referring to, but maybe it was about an old friend."
"Sino?" the girl asked, her curiosity still bubbling.
Risa hesitated for just a second before she responded, her voice soft. "Leni Robredo. If you really want to know, you can search it up. Search 'LenRisa' on TikTok. I'm sure may mga kwento doon."
Her granddaughter, always quick with technology, pulled out her phone and typed in the search. Moments passed, her eyes wide as she watched the old clips and read through the comments.
"Mommy La," she said, looking up from her phone, "bagay kayo, ha! What happened?"
Risa's smile faltered, and she looked away. For a moment, she was no longer in the room with her granddaughter. Her mind drifted back to that late afternoon with Leni, a conversation she had replayed countless times in her head.
It was raining lightly that day, the kind of rain that made everything feel heavier, more intimate. They stood under the eaves of a quiet café, watching the droplets fall.
"Lens," Risa's voice cracked as she fought back tears. "Why don't you take a risk? Why can't we just... try?"
Leni looked away, her eyes distant, her lips pressed tightly together. "Ris, masasaktan ka lang."
"But isn't that what love is?" Risa asked, her voice trembling. "What is love if you don't feel its highs and lows?"
Leni exhaled, shaking her head slowly. "I don't want you to make yourself vulnerable, Ris. Not for me. I can't... I can't choose you."
Risa's chest tightened, the weight of Leni's words sinking in. "But you loved me, didn't you?" she whispered, searching Leni's face for any sign of hope. "Even just a little?"