Anxiety

                                    

                                          
I sat down on Taylor's bed with her following my actions and sitting beside me. Her knee bounced gently with anxiety from everything going on.
"I just want to apologise," I stared into her watery blue eyes, "none of this is your fault, I don't blame you."
She nodded gently, taking in what I was saying. 
"We're going to fight, they've no reason not to choose us." I smiled, encouraging her that we'll win the fight for them.
She stared at the wall for a minute, "I think it's my job that's the issue."
"What? You've a couple of cameras following you so you can't adopt kids? Even when you have your own kid?" My brain was frazzled with confusion, none of that made sense.
She shrugged, "I can't lose any of you, Havyn."
She never uses my full name always a nickname, I knew this was serious and that proved it even more. 
"It's not your fault, if we win or not. None of us will be blaming you," I shuffled towards her, "you're a way better mom to us than anyone on their foster list."
She smiled, "I promise I'll do everything I can."
I nodded wiping my thumb across her cheek to dispose of the last few tears rolling down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around me, resting her cheek on my head. I'm glad I can be her comfort and support as well. We can lean on each other if we need to. 
Taylor and I stayed in each other's embrace, until Maisie came running in. Her long brown hair swaying behind her as she held her arms out for Taylor. 
I noticed a small smile on Taylor's face as she saw the four year old coming towards her. She kept one arm around me as she picked Maisie up with the other, placing her on her knee. 
"What's up, Maisie moo?" Taylor kissed her forehead.
"Look!" Maisie pointed to her bruised knee from playing football.
"Oh my goodness! Are you okay?" I could hear panic in Taylor's voice as she tried to keep it light for Maisie.
"Yeah, it was such a good goal mom! Daddy says I could be a great player when I'm older." She beamed. 
I realised I hadn't heard her call Travis that before, understanding how much she loves it here with them. 
"Have you been crying?" Maisie was looking up at Taylor with her little hands pressed to Taylor's cheeks. 
She smiled, "I'm okay, baby."
"But why you sad mommy?" She tilted her head with confusion, "did Havyn do something?"
"Havyns done nothing wrong, everyone's okay." Taylor smiled at Maisie. 
"Okay!"
"I think it's bedtime for two little monkeys." Taylor tickled Maisie, her childish giggles filled the room.
Travis and Theo walked in to say goodnight to everyone. Taylor ruffled Theo's hair, showing affection to each of us at the same time. She was made to be our mom. 
Travis took Maisie off Taylor, holding her close to his chest as Theo hugged Taylor. She took his hand and led them into their room for bed. I followed, knowing the bedtime song would be requested and I didn't know how many times we'd get to sing it together.
————
I woke up to Taylor sitting on the end of my bed, staring into space.
"Tay?" I rubbed my eye, shifting to my side so I could see her better.
She smiled, "sorry, I just needed to clear my head. Your room is so peaceful."
I smiled, sitting up towards her. 
"I'm going to talk to the lawyers today, my mom's going to come over and look after you." Taylor was mapping the plan out in her head of today. 
"Can I come with you?" I asked, wanting to fight for my siblings personally as well.
"Would you want to? I can call my lawyer and see." Taylor's eyes light up with happiness. Glad for the support system.
I nodded, "I raised them in that house and I would be still raising them if you hadn't saved us. I think I should be the one deciding on where they stay as I've been making all of those decisions for their whole lives."
Taylor smiled, "you're coming."
————
We arrived at the lawyers office, I scanned the room. Seeing one long table and almost thirty chairs surrounding it, my anxiety was beginning to bubble. 
"You okay?" Taylor placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder as I nodded. I couldn't look at her, the thought of breaking down here made me feel sick. I realised I was here for my siblings, to fight for their futures with us.
We walked into the huge room with two other people sitting at the end. One redheaded woman and a man.
"Hey Tree." Taylor's expression softened as she saw a familiar face in the room. 
The man stood up towards us, "morning, I'm Chris Roberts." He held out a hand for me to shake, which I did wearily. Before he moved onto Taylor.
We all took a seat, I was right next to Taylor opposite Tree. I didn't know why Taylor's publicist was here but Taylor assured me it was always good to have someone around who knows the world.
"So, Theo and Maisie Grey are in your custody as of right now?" He started as Taylor nodded, "and they grew up with Havyn ?"
I nodded as he continued, "tell me your story, Havyn and I'll see what I can do." 
I froze, he wanted me to tell him about my past, my life, my abuse? I didn't know if I could. Taylor squeezed my hand under the table.
"I don't think she's quite ready for a life story," Taylor started to speak.
"No it's fine, it's not for me." I gave Taylor a reassuring smile, "I grew up with what we thought were my biological siblings in a home where family didn't mean anything." 
I paused for a breath, shaking slightly as I spoke. Taylor's hand never left mine.
"I raised them, finding out that we're not related didn't change anything for us. Taylor took us in and saved us. She's been our mom since the day we met her."  I looked at Taylor, who had tears in her eyes.
"If she didn't save us, we all could be dead right now or still being abused. We've all learned how to trust Taylor and Travis in our own time. Maisie and Theo both call them mom and dad, more than I do."
Chris shook his head, taking notes of my speech. I looked at Taylor, whose leg was bouncing with anxiety as well. She rubbed my back, proud of me for speaking up and overcoming my trauma for my siblings. 
I just hoped it was enough. This wasn't even for the courts, what if Chris wasn't satisfied with the evidence we've presented to him? 
/// this isn't looked over I rushed it for you guys! Next part will be out at the weekend just because of my uni schedule and work sorry ///