Part 26: The Ring

                                    

                                          
Roger arrived 10 minutes after Marjorie's warning. That meant that Siobhan had gotten herself together, she was too scared to even think about what happened. All of a sudden he is there. He looks at her with something in his eyes that is hard to decode.
"Good, you are done! Anything I should know about?"
"Not really, it would probably bore you" She is able to control her voice and she sounds believable.
"I'm taking you to lunch, finish up" 
"Sure, but why?"
"Do I need a reason to take my girlfriend to lunch now?" He looked a little angry. Siobhan regrets her words as soon as they left her mouth but what is done is done.
"Sorry. Of course not. That is very sweet" She smiles.
The lunch was awkward. Roger didn't speak to her, as soon as they finished he insisted on taking her to a jewelry store. Siobhan liked shiny things, she also didn't have much of a choice so they went. It was a high end store and the jewels really were breathtaking. Siobhan looked at an emerald ring, a huge emerald. 
"Do you want to try it on?" A sales rep asked her.
"Sure" She didn't mind trying on pretty things. "It's beautiful"
"That is the one then" Roger said from behind her. She was confused, he usually only bought her jewelry to apologize these days. "Only the best for my wife to be" 
He got down on one knee.
"Siobhan, will you do me the honor of being my wife" Siobhan's head snapped around. What did he just say? He looked at her with a look to say 'don't you dare embarrass me'.
"Yes, I'll marry you" The feeling in her stomach should be excitement but it wasn't, it was fear. They stood there and Roger gave her his credit card. Really romantic to make her pay for it. He was making a statement, she decided to buy it, she decided to marry him.
He was driving her back to the nursery, once again it was silent. Siobhan was deep in thought as they came to a stop. 
"Thank you for lunch Roger"
"Put it on"
"What?"
"Put. The ring. On." Siobhan knew that this was a command she really couldn't refuse. It was too late. She put on the ring and got back into the nursery. She walked to her office and spent the day hiding from any and everyone. How would she get out of this? Her mind went to Vivian, and that is what made the reality sink in, there was no chance of a happy ending anymore. She wanted to leave but how would she, she didn't have any money and Roger had controlled her long enough to make the thought of starting over unthinkable. The threat of bottaly harm did not help either. Siobhan thought of Vivian and she didn't want to die, but surviving meant staying with Roger. Vivian deserved more than being a second choice and she could do so much better than someone like her.
She went straight home and they celebrated, that meant that Roger had sex with her and Siobhan tried to not think about Vivian; she was afraid of Roger finding out. It was not rational but after last time she started to believe that he might actually have a straight line into her mind and she didn't want to risk it. She ended up sitting in the shower that evening. She took the ring off and put it by the sink. She was just sitting there staring at her hand. She was trapped. She wondered what Vivian would do in this situation, except she didn't think Vivian would ever end up here. She still didn't know about Jamie's other mother and how Vivian had to leave everything behind to save herself and her boy. Their situations were not the same, not at all, but there would be more understanding for Siobhan than she thought.
She didn't go into work the next day, she couldn't face them. She knew that Marjorie would have something to say about it and she couldn't take it. She had some painkillers left and as soon as Roger left she took the opportunity to get high, she needed an escape and there it was, in a small box under her sink there was freedom.
She layed back, looking at the ceiling. She felt her body go numb and she closed her eyes. Her mind drifted and it all felt so distant. Her work, her colleagues, Roger, Vivian, there was nothing for a while. Then she woke up. She was still high as a kite but she didn't know that. There was a soft hand on her leg and on the side of her bed she saw Vivian. 
"Siobhan, baby, what are you doing?" She never liked being called 'baby' until this very moment.
"Why are you here?" She asked back, not knowing what Vivian was asking her.
"You brought me here" Siobhan didn't understand. She was certain that she had not rung her. "Maybe you need me" A part of her wanted to tell Vivian that she didn't, that she could make it on her own but another part didn't believe it and she wouldn't lie. "Why did you take the pills?"
"I needed it" She was honest.
"No you didn't. You know that there are other ways" 
"What would you know about that?" Siobhan pulled her leg away from Vivian's hand. 
"Maybe I know more than you think. You never give me the opportunity to understand you. You think that you are protecting me but you're just taking my choice to care about you from my hands" Vivian knew just what to say because she was a figment of Siobhan's imagination. Siobhan didn't realize that but obviously she knew it to be true, it was her thoughts after all.
"You have so much in front of you, you have so much to lose. I have nothing. I can't pull you into my mess"
"Is that not my choice?"
"He could hurt you"
"He is already hurting you"
"You have a kid"
"So you can't tell me the truth about what is going on because I have a kid? That sounds crazy" It was a weird way of thinking but it came from a good place. "Please, just do it, just talk to me" Siobhan reaches for her hand and just as she touches her, she is gone and she understands that she was never there to begin with. She made an important decision there and then, she would tell her.