Endless Laughter Part 4- (ICT Snippets)

                                    

                                          
Harry to the waiter: An iced vanilla latte with two straws, please.
Jassi blushes
Harry (puts both straws in his mouth): Watch how fucking fast I can drink this.
Jassi (rolls his eyes): You're unbelievable.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Virat removes his glasses and stares at Rohit
Vi: Wow...
Ro (blushes): What?
Vi: I can't see shit.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Jaddu: So what is for lunch?
Bhuvi: As usual, food.
Jaddu: No, I meant what are you having?
Bhuvi: An unwanted conversation.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Ro: Alright, an important question for our friendship, when you go to the movie theater and buy a bucket of popcorn, do you ask for extra butter, regular butter, or no butter??
Vi: I put skittles, not skittles, M&Ms, with the popcorn.
Ro (sighs): Alright, I am gonna remove Vi, from this call.
Vi: Hold up a sec-
Rohit removes Virat from the video call.
Jinks and Jaddu start laughing
Jinks  (laughing): You didn't even give poor lad a chance to explain himself??
Jaddu (laughing): For real! You just kicked him out without even letting him finish!
Ro (grinning): Well, I was doing him a favor. Anyone who puts M&Ms in popcorn is clearly beyond saving.
Vi (rejoins the call, looking mock-offended): You didn't even let me finish, Ro! It's the perfect mix of sweet and salty!
Jinks (still laughing): You know what's worse? Imagine he adds a scoop of ice cream too. Full dessert buffet in his lap!
Jaddu (gasping between laughs): Vi, please tell us you don't do that!
Vi (feigning deep thought): Well... I have tried—
Ro (cutting him off, hands up in surrender): Alright, that's it. I officially don't know you anymore.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Rah: You give me butterflies.
Harry: I don't remember giving you anything.
Rah: I mean I have butterflies in my stomach.
Harry (takes a step back): You ATE those poor creatures?!?!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Virat clutches his head
Ash: It is a concussion, ask him questions and keep him awake, I will get the physio.
Ro: What is 12 x 12, Vi?
Jinks (sighs): Stuffs he knows!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Kul: I ain't paying for all of that.
Rishu: It is ok, Bhai I have a sugar daddy.
Kul: ....
Rishu: And that sugar daddy is me because I am a self-sustaining bitch.
Kul: Stop hanging with Yuzi.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Virat walks into the room
Jinks: Where were you?
Vi: Sorry I am late, I was...well, uh, doing things.
Rohit enters the room looking completely disheveled
Ro: Jinks, VI PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Harry: What time is it?
Siraj: I don't knew.
Harry: "Knew"? That is not how you say it.
Siraj: Then how do you say it?
Harry: It is "I don't knowing"
Jassi: It's not "I don't knew" or "I don't knowing"
Siraj: Then what is it?
Jassi: I don't know.
Harry: If you don't know it then shut the fuck up.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Ro: Shut the fuck up, you asshole.
Vi: You are such a bitch!
Mahi Bhai: Ro, Cheeku you both better watch that mouth of yours...I don't entertain such bad things.
Ro: But cursing is not a bad thing. It's an expression.
Mahi Bhai: Who told you that?
Vi: Yuvi Pa did.
Mahi Bhai: That bitch....
---------------------------------------------------------------
Jaddu: This morning I told Bhuvi that the more "y's" you add to your 'hey' the more intense your affection is.
Jaddu: So I texted him an hour ago saying 'heyyyyyyyyyyy'
Ash: I already have a bad feeling about this-
Jaddu: He replied with 'he'
-----------------------------
I didn't forget this book. I am back with another dose of laughter lol...give me some time will try to write all the requests that I have...till then read this, and have a laugh, and do let me know which joke was your fav. 
PS. The IPL teams and its release list made me have mixed feelings...happy for some of the players and sad for some.
XOXO!