Broken Human Heart | Betrayed Clover x Martlet

                                    

                                          

This one dives into post-break up interactions and forgiveness. If You just broke out of a toxic relationship, or are experiencing any sort of heartbreak right now, I strongly suggest to not read this. I myself am using my own heartache as inspiration here, but You do not need to feel it if You're already vulnerable.
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Clover thought that she loved him. He thought that what he did for her mattered. He thought that... he thought... what purpose did it even serve, at this point, what he thought? It didn't make any sense to him, though. Martlet has always been sweet and kind and loving to him, but all of a sudden she says that she never wanted the relationship to be romantic? In short, Clover felt betrayed. He always checked up on her whenever she was away from home, he always made her little handmade gifts to show his appreciation, and whenever she came over? You best bet he made sure that everything was squeaky clean and ready at least three days in advance.

Currently, he was laying in his old bed. He moved in back with his adoptive mother, Ceroba, as he needed as much mental support from everyone around him as possible. Her motherly love had helped him a lot, in fact. Enough that he threw the thought of substances to ease the pain out of his mind.

His eyes were dry and numb from all the constant crying. The wishes for a better time, the hope that, somehow, he could fix it, numbed his mind. Somehow, this glimmer of hope still shined within him. Maybe she's gonna burst into the room right now, pick him up and give him a heartfelt apology while hugging him? Maybe she's going to write an expertly written letter, explaining everything that was going through her head and saying sorry? At least he would get some closure off of that. But ever since Martlet shared that piece of information with Clover, she left him. Any attempts at contact failed. She left Clover with his own thoughts, alone.

He did try to contact her. He knocked at her home door and asked her if they could talk things over, try to understand both sides and maybe come up with some compromise, but she just yelled at him for "Taking things too seriously" and "Not wanting to leave me alone", which converted Clover's sorrow into hatred. How could she blame him, when it was all her fault? How did she have the audacity to even say those things? How could she be mad at Clover, who was simply heartbroken and wanted to make amends?



- Clover...? - Ceroba peeked her snout through the doorway, checking on me - You've been laying in bed for a few hours now. You should at least stand up to get some water - There was genuine concern in my mom's tone. And she was right, I really needed to move. But... I couldn't. I saw no purpose in doing anything. Why should I?

- I... I can't... - I was about to re-burst into tears. My whole conscious was just a wreck. The moment I thought about Martlet again, I got filled with so many emotions... so much betrayal, so much sadness, and so much hate...

Ceroba walked up to me with a stride in her feet, and sat down next to me while putting a paw on my back. In a moment, she laid behind me and wrapped her arms around my body.

Her warmth embraced my entire body. Yet... it didn't remind me of Martlet. It felt real, genuine. It wasn't done out of responsibility or duty, it was done out of love...

I subconsciously smiled, but sadly, there was a knock on the door, because of which, mom had to go get it.

- Don't worry, I'll be back the moment I deal with the unwanted guests, okay?

I nodded my head as I sat up. The moment she left, I started thinking with a slightly clearer head

- Gosh, look what some real care and attention during a hard time can do to a guy, huh?

And I was right, I felt invigorated. I did want to go take a glass of water and get out of bed, so that's exactly what I did.

As I stumbled down the stairs, I could overhear mom speaking... rather loudly, with someone behind the front door. I couldn't make out the words, but not like I was much of an eavesdropper.

As I grabbed a glass from the cupboards, the collisions making a decent amount of noise, I heard the door unlock, and the patter of my mom's feet towards me. She planted her paws on my shoulders, and knelt down to my head level.

- Clover... Martlet is here.

My eyes instantly furrowed

- What the fuck is she doing here? I don't want to talk to her unless she explicitly wants to apologize

My mother ignored my crude speech, and continued

- Well... - She looked down at the ground - She does want to apologize. At least, that's what all of the begging would suggest.

A moment of silence fell between the two of us

- If you want, I could sit next to you, so that you feel safer?

With a deep, excruciating breath, I agreed. My heart started beating out of my chest like crazy. I really wonder what that traitor cooked up.

As she saw me enter, she ran towards me first things first, but I put my arms in front of me

- Get away from me, I don't want you touching me. - I spat out. - Just get to the point.

- R-right... - She looked to the corner of her field of view as she sat down on the opposite armchair, with me sitting on the sofa. Ceroba sat silently right next to me, observing the situation.

- Clover, I... gosh, where do I even begin...

- At the start - I took control of the conversation - What made you suddenly change? It looked like you did love me. So why, all of a sudden, did it stop?

- It's complicated, really complicated. I don't want to talk about that.

I sighed. So what did she come here to talk about?

- I wanted to apologize. For everything. F-for hurting you - Her eyes began tearing up - For lying to you for s-so long.... F-F-For not knowing how to s-say n-no...

My heart sank as I heard the last part. Of course.

We cuddled, kissed, did so much physical contact with each other, and none of it was consensual from her side. She only accepted it to make me feel better, not because she wanted it. It was the main thing I was mad about. Consent is so fucking important to me, I... whatever.

Her tone started squeaking as she turned on the water works

- God, I'm so sorry Clover! I-I wanted to do the right thing, I wanted to make you feel loved, b-b-but...

I stood up and walked towards her. I knelt to her head level as she buried her face in her wings, wiping off all the tears as she began sobbing. I swallowed my pride before speaking

- I can clearly see that you regret leading me on for so long. You really are sorry that things came to this. Tell me, why didn't you just admit to lying in the beginning? - My tone was as compassionate as I could get it. Let's hope it's enough.

- I... - Her sobbing cleared up - I thought that I would grow into your love. You just loved me so passionately and with so much dedication, I enjoyed that feeling so much...! And I wanted to give it back to you, I tried so much but I couldn't... I just couldn't.

I sighed while looking to the side. I have no clue what to do with this. I'm extremely conflicted right now. One part of me wants her to go to hell, but the other wants to rekindle the relationship, even if it is just a lie. I need to find the middle ground inside of me.

- And what do you expect to happen once you've apologized?

- I... I would like you to forgive me. I don't want you to live with any bitter after taste from me. I want you to move on, find someone that can love you, and not hurt you.

A tear rolled down my eyes as she said that. Heh. Looks like my daydreams came true. But I need more answers

- I'm going to ask you some more questions. - I now sat next to her, only a few centimeters of air separating us - During our relationship, was there any moment where you felt truly happy? Where you didn't feel forced to love me?

She looked down to the ground before answering, her eyes still looked to the floorboards

- A couple of times... one time I remember the most was during my birthday. You gave me a wooden revolver, made by you. I felt so happy and proud that you were so skilled in something I enjoyed that I wanted to love you so damn much that day. I mean, you must remember all of those kisses and cuddling?

- I assumed that that was just another lie, so I removed it from memory. But... I'm glad that I was getting true love out of you at least then. - I let out a small smile, which Martlet gave back.

After a moment of silence, she spoke up again

- So what's your verdict, Clover? - She asked me timidly, expecting the worst.

- I... I don't know. - I answered honestly - Deep down, I want to forgive you, and would love for us to love each other again, but I'm not willing to live in a lie again.

Her eyes widened as she heard that

- W-wait, you... you could do that?

- I mean, you would have to really prove yourself to me. You've ruined all of my trust towards you, and rebuilding it from the ground up will not be easy.

Martlet was clearly shocked and slightly lost at the idea. But... something sparked inside of her. That look in her eyes... She felt... determined. She wanted to make things right. And she only thought good things about me. That never changed, did it?

After a drawn out sigh, Martlet answered the question from the beginning

- The reason I said what I said to you is because I... I was scared. You loved me so much, and I couldn't give that love back to you, so... I tried taking the blame on myself, so that you could get mad at me and maybe find a girl that would love you? To be honest, I handled that very poorly, but... I think I got there eventually, didn't I?

My heart broke a second time this week, but this time, I felt sorry. I... she was willing to sacrifice so much just for me to find true love?

- How can I trust you with this, though? For all I know, this could just be another lie you're feeding me, just so that you can get the love and attention you're so addicted to.

Martlet sighed and looked at me.

- I thought you'd say that... look, we don't have to sit back into whatever we were as if nothing happened, we both know that won't work, but... I'd be very grateful if we tried from the start, you know? You can regain your trust, and I can do my best to love you. What do you say? - There was hope in her voice and eyes. Hope that a better time comes. Hope that she can make amends for her mistake.

I hugged her in response.

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This has gotta be the first chapter I wrote in one sitting. It just felt like I fell asleep and when I woke up there was an entire story in front of my eyes. Definitely not proof reading it either. Anyway, hope that Y'all enjoyed my vent!

Pell out.