Part 24: Fantasy

                                    

                                          
A/N: This is a short one, some sexual stuff, y'all know that I'm bad with TW so... Have a good one!

She is finally back to work and once again Siobhan starts to have an optimistic outlook on life. This is something she never gets credit for but she really does believe that things can get better, why would she keep going otherwise. If you keep going there is always a chance, no matter how small that it will be fine, that she might get that happy ending. Yes, she still dreamt of a happy ending. She saw the people around her, people who survived Roger getting their happy endings, she can't help but question when it will be her time. 
Siobhan thinks about the doctor's appointment a lot, she thinks about Vivian's hands on her face, on her neck, on her torso. She never had a sex drive, but the thought of the woman did something to her, something she couldn't explain. She still had to have sex with Roger of course but now she would imagen Vivian, she could finally get a little wet and it made it less painful.
She would imagine staying in the hospital room with Vivian. She would take Vivian's hand from her neck and place it on her waist. Vivian looked a little confused but she didn't pull away. Siobhan held her hand on top of Vivian's and they looked into each other's eyes before Siobhan would run her hand up Vivian's arm landing on her shoulder. Siobhan stepped closer and put her other hand on the back of Viv's neck.
"It's ok to touch me" She whispered and Vivian would finally put her hands on Siobhan's hips, taking a firm yet caring hold of her. She wanted that touch, she wanted someone to hold her, she wanted someone's touch that didn't hurt.
"What are we doing Bonnie?" Siobhan knew that this was a fantasy, of course she knew and it was about here she would realize it, every time this is where she remembers that Vivian isn't there. Siobhan is not in the hospital, she is in Roger's bed. She isn't being held, she is getting held down. Tears would form.
"Don't stop, please don't stop" It was a plea, once again a whisper; a prayer. Siobhan put her hands in Vivian's short brown hair. "I wish you were real" She started to cry. Vivian's hands pulled her into a hug.
"It can be real, just keep going"
"You don't exist, this didn't happen" Siobhan let go of her hair and put it on Vivian's hand, she guided her hand to her rib. I didn't hurt, that cements it. She is not real. Siobhan takes a hold of her hand again and put's it in her own pants. "Touch me" She sobs. In reality she knows that Vivian wouldn't, but this wasn't real so she does.
They stay like that and Siobhan kisses Vivian, she wonders what it would be like. She was getting wet but she still couldn't stop the tears. She started to unbutton Vivian's shirt.
"Bon, you don't have to"
"I need to know what you feel like" Siobhan pushes her shirt off her shoulders. She reaches around to unhook her bra as Vivian moves her fingers around her clit. Siobhan moans into her mouth. She puts her hands on Vivian's breast, softly massaging them, feeling how hard her nipples were. She had never touched a woman but this felt so real, it felt so right and it was all so soft and warm. Then she started to feel some discomfort, she felt hands holding her too hard, someone pushing into her forcefully.
"Wait" She opened her eyes as she says it. Roger was about to finish. He took his hands and started to choke her. The face he made as he came inside her was truly disgusting and every trace of Vivian was gone. He didn't let go straight away, he watched her struggle for a little while.
"You think that I don't know what you are doing you fucking whore" he spit her right in the face and got off her. 
Siobhan stayed on her back for a little while trying to catch her breath. Roger knew that she was thinking about someone else, this could not be good. She got up, and god she felt disgusting. She got in the shower and tried to wash every part of Roger off her. She scrubbed her face, her body, she tried to not think about his cum inside of her; it made her want to throw up. Her breathing was shallow and she started to cry. When would she get to be happy, this is not how it was supposed to be. She put her hand on her rib and thought of Vivian, it hurt so she knew it was real but at least she thought about Vivian.