midnights

                                    

                                          
"Don't stay up too late," My mom poked her head into my room. 
"I won't, I'm going to sleep after this," I pointed to my laptop and smiled at her. 
"Alright. Good night Char. I love you." She blew me a kiss and closed my door. 
The time on my laptop read 8:58pm, which meant that Midnights was out in two minutes. One of the perks of living on the west coast was not having to wait until midnight on release days.
I propped my phone up against a stack of my textbooks so I could record my reactions to the songs. I loved filming my live reactions; they were so much fun to look back on. 
As soon as it was 9, I refreshed my Spotify and went to Taylor's profile. There it was, the album we've been looking forward to for almost two months. I remember being in my room watching the VMAs and screaming as soon as Taylor announced the album, and my parents rushing upstairs to my room because they thought something bad had happened to me. That's how excited I was. I went on to text all of my friends — regardless of whether they're a swiftie or not — that Midnights was going to be out in October. 
I, of course, made sure to keep them updated on the tracks that Taylor announced during Midnights Mayhem With Me as well. For the first two weeks of it, I was still at school in person so my poor teachers and classmates had to hear all about it from me every other day. I told them everything from the track title to the little details that no one but swifties cared about, including the outfits Taylor wore and the hairstyles she had that night. I'm sure they were glad when they found out I wasn't going to physically be at school starting October. 
I immediately fell in love with the album after hearing the first second of Lavender Haze. Could it have been because it was a Taylor Swift album and anything she did was going to be amazing to me? Possibly. But the song just kept getting better as it went on, proving my judgment correct. 
I felt so called out by Anti-Hero and You're On Your Own, Kid. I already knew that they were going to be some of my favorite songs on the album, just after I listened to it for the first time. There were many lines that I could relate to. Taylor, as always, put my feelings into words so perfectly. I was in tears by the end of You're On Your Own, Kid, which made sense because it was a track 5 song. 
When I did a blind ranking for this album, predicting where each song would stand before I listened to any of them, I had put Question...? pretty low on the list. I actually really liked the song though, especially the chorus. Taylor saying 'dickhead guy' caught me off guard but I was living for it. 
Vigilante Shit did not disappoint. I was one of the people that was very excited to hear this song, mostly because the word 'shit' was in the title. I loved the way the song sounded — badass and hot. I was loving what I assumed were references to Scooter Braun. He was one of the people that can make me so angry just by looking at a picture of him; I hated him with every fiber of my being. 
I thought Karma would sound like Vigilante Shit, so I was a little surprised when it turned out to be more upbeat than I imagined. I wasn't sure exactly how to describe it, and I was sure it didn't make sense to anyone else, but the song sounded really sparkly. I couldn't wait to know all the lyrics to the bridge and scream it passionately when I was singing alone in the shower or my room. 
Mastermind scratched my brain in the best way possible. I really loved the way Taylor said 'Machiavellian' in the song. I couldn't really relate to any of the lyrics except 'no one wanted to play with me as a little kid' but I still vibed with the song. 
As I listened to the album, I created a first listen ranking in my notes app. It was still my first time listening so this ranking was bound to change, but it was always interesting to look back in a month to see how similar or different it was. I often surprised myself when I went back to it; there had been a few times where I ranked my favorite songs at the bottom after I listened to it for the first time.