35.

                                    

                                          
When Soobin said that this wasn't the end of our date and that he had plans to go somewhere else, I really hoped that there would be a place to sit. I ate so much of all this delicious food that if I were to run, walk long distances, or dance, it would surely come back the same way it entered. That's why when we drove up to the Han River and Soobin opened the door for me and took the blanket, I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Don't look at me like that. It's not hard to know you're in terrible shape."
"I'm sorry, my shape is average, your's is just too good because of all your sports and other stupid things like that." I rolled my eyes. Soobin chuckled, which he did more often than usual today, which made me happy, and then he grabbed my hand and pulled me along. The man spread a blanket and then we sat on it.
"Don't you dance sometimes, huh?"
"Occasionally. I like to do it, but rather casually, when I feel like it, not when I have to. That's why I don't go to any classes, it's too much of a commitment." I shrugged, only to add after a moment. "And yes, I have no problem with dancing, but if you ask me to run more than a hundred meters, I will definitely be ready to have a heart attack. Does that make sense? No, but my body doesn't understand it."
"Maybe you need more activity?"
"What, do you want to provide me with some?" I asked flirtatiously, trying to sound less innocent than it should have been. Soobin squinted, trying to decipher if he understood correctly, but finally shook his head.
"Sure. We can go to the gym or run together."
"You mean walk, yeah? Or are you tired of me and want to get rid of me already?" I pursed my lip, fakeing sadness. Soobin immediately became concerned and I had to try very hard not to smile.
"Of course not! You know I love you!"
"Oh." I blurted out and all the urge to joke disappeared. My cheeks flushed and I looked down, embarrassed.
"Jun." Soobin put two fingers under my chin and forced me to meet his eyes. "I know you're not sure about all this love and I don't expect you to feel what I feel anytime soon, but please give us a chance."
"But I already did it. If it weren't for that, we wouldn't be on a date right now."
"Yes, but..." He paused for a moment, as if wondering what to say that wouldn't sound bad. "Are you fully committed to this? I don't want to rush you, I really do, but I would love to call you my boyfriend after today like I used to, but for real this time and not just to push others." I blinked a few times, and when Soobin released me, I immediately turned my head towards the landscape. There was silence for a moment, but then I took a deep breath.
"If I agree, will you soon be bored with me? Now you love me, but if problems arise, will you want to solve them or will you run away and blame me?"
"I behaved immaturely, I admit it and I know it sounds cliché, but I've never really loved anyone like I love you, Jun. I'll do anything to make this thing between us work out. And no, I'll never get tired of you, every day I'm becoming more and more interested in you and I love discovering new things about you." Soobin spoke with such certainty in his voice that he could even convince Eskimos to buy ice from him.
"I swear that if you force me to give up a wonderful man like Woo now and break up with me sooner than in six months, I will be furious. Because even if now I could convince Woo to give up San and date me, after some time it will be too late." I muttered, half serious, half joking. 
Because while now my heart was beating for someone else, with time I could certainly fall in love with Wooyoung. Of course, if Soobin disappeared from my life once and for all, which didn't seem to be the case, looking at his serious face. I will never get tired of how easy it was to make Soobin jealous and possessive. And as long as he didn't act on it too much, he looked really sexy.
"I will never give you to him or anyone else, forget about it. Even if you want to break up, because I will certainly never do that, I will keep you by force. I love you too much to let you go." I resisted the urge to tell him I wasn't a damn object to keep the atmosphere going, I leaned in and connected our lips in a kiss. It was supposed to be short and romantic, but when Soobin grabbed my neck, not letting me back out, it turned into a stronger and wet one. When we pulled away, our foreheads still touching, we were both breathing heavily. 
"I love you, Soobin." 
"What?!" The man pulled away from me abruptly, looking at me with wide eyes. "You... But... Are you sure? Don't... Don't say you love me if you don't meant it."
"Mhm. For some time now. But I wanted to make sure of your intentions before I tell you because there will be no going back. And... I really want to take the risk. I'm tired of being afraid."
"You won't regret it, Jun." Soobin kissed me briefly on the lips, a huge smile on his lips. "I love you, I love you, I love you." Each sentence was interrupted by a smack. I giggled, pulled him towards me and kissed him. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was living a full life and was actually whole, I no longer lacked anything because the person who loved me and whom I loved was right next to me. 
###
The epilogue will appear on Saturday. Then I will publish the first chapter of "Angel of my dreams" on Monday. I hope you enjoy the new story as much (if not more) than this one.
Have a nice day, darlings! 🥺💙