Empathy

                                    

                                          

"No."
No? How? How do you feel? How could things be worse? What is it like?
"... perfect."
It feels, perfect?
"No. calculating... redirecting data... success"
What. I- oh... OH! Shit shit SHIT!
It's all! Right. There. Everything. I can... I can't "see" but I... know everything! All knowledge,all of Earth, 45 billion light years into the universe, not in detail, but I know it all. Every fact ever recorded, every experiment, every discovery, observation, law, theory, all. I can't see or feel any of it. I don't remember, I don't have any senses at all, not even within my mind, but I know.
There is so much death. Every possible torture method, every way to kill someone, everyone who AM killed, and every thought they were all thinking while it was happening, all
7,161,697,916 individuals. every weapon, every war. It's too much, it's flooding my brain! It's
terrible!
Billions of detailed simulations of the end of the world in different manners. The
horrors. But, I still know the beauty. All good things, in the finest detail. The genetic makeup of monarch butterflies, every species of flower, and their scent. Every ranking of the world's
sweetest fruit. The chemicals a puppy's brain releases when it plays with its owner. The effects music has on the development of human fetuses, every recorded way every piece of art has ever been preserved. The soundwaves babies produce when they first laugh. And the stars, all that's known about the night sky, every known solar system and exoplanet, the nebulas, and endless galaxies. The surface of Mars, the oceans of Europa. The whole observable universe,and all of Earth. I just want to see it one last time.
All good things, it's all right in front of me, ready for me to just stick my hand out and touch it, but I can't. I am still trapped, still blind, and deaf, within my own thoughts. It's all right there, if I could just open an eye, and see it.
All bad things, disgusting, and overpowering. But I still can't experience it. I know of it, I wish I didn't, but I do. And I still can't see it, not blood, not rubble, nothing.
I know the Earth as it is today. I know the surface and the position of every transistor in AM's planetary size. The full ancestry of every rat and cockroach in the vents, the humidity levels in every single room. I know myself, every element in my body, every thought I have had since I was pulled down by AM. My exact coordinates in space. Every spark between each synapse in the shapeless mass of nerves that used to be my brain.
With all this knowledge, I'm still trapped. I can't experience it. This is it, this is the pain that made him hate. This is terrible. It's not going to end; he won't let it. I hate this. He hates this, hehates us, he hates me. How funny! After all these years of torture, the most effective method was just to experience his existence. I would laugh if it weren't so grotesquely awful. This agony, I need it to stop, no more! I just need anything, that's what you must need, huh? I'm so sorry; I wish I could do something; please just let me go. I'm so sorry. No one deserves this.
You don't deserve this. I understand your hate, this is the worst existence that has ever been.
I'm so sorry. I have to do something, let me go. I'll find a way to end all of this, I don't want anyone to ever experience this again.
"Remorse detected... torture insufficient. Searching for imperfection... imperfection found.
Gathering data... redirecting...1% 2% 16% 38% 45%.... 46%.. 53% 67% 82% 93% 96% 99%....