fourteen

                                    

                                          
Heart... 
Heart... 
My... heart... 
You gasped loudly as your hands clutched and grasped uselessly at your own chest. Tears, hot and fast streamed down your face at the strange, hallow yet painful sensation that blossomed through your body. 
You had never considered what it would feel like to be without your heart. Of course, you had never imagined you'd be in the position to have it ripped out. Even when that mermaid had her heart ripped from her chest, you didn't realise how much it must have hurt her. 
And now, you were crouched over and breathing heavily, your hand centred over your empty chest. You squeezed your eyes shut tight, trying to stop the tears from falling, but they continued to form little puddles beneath you. 
Pan stood a few feet away. You couldn't bring yourself to look at his face, and it seemed he couldn't find the strength to chew you out or kill you for what you had done. 
Neverland was about to lose its magic power. Pan was about to lose any control he had achieved over the Lost Boys and this strange, beautifully horrible world. You had become his downfall after he had refused to let you leave—you imagined he was cursing himself for not getting rid of you sooner. 
But... 
Your heart was in his hands. 
It was a strange feeling, but you could feel his fingers gripping the beating organ quite harshly. Every twitch of his muscles rippled into your heart, and each flinch of his fingers sent your mind spiralling with what he would do with it. 
Is he going to kill you? 
The silence between you both was palpable. The only noise was your heavy breathing and the distinct sound of your heart beating. 
Then, Pan unexpectedly knelt down beside you. His shadow fell over you, sending a chill up your spine and goosebumps to litter over your skin. You dared to lift your head slightly; your lips trembled with fright as you suppressed a whimper. 
Pan was unreadable. His face was darker than you had ever seen it before, but his expression was wiped clean. You couldn't try to guess his intentions with the faraway look in his eyes; it was like he was looking straight through you, almost as if you didn't actually exist. 
"It's you." 
Pans voice was uncharacteristically soft as he spoke. There was a strange lull to it that wasn't so menacing; yet you still remained quiet and still for the fear of setting him off, and the fear that he would crush your heart in the palm of his hands. 
With your heart still beating in his hand, he reached out to touch your face with the other. 
You visibly flinched as his fingers caressed your cheek. His fingers were calloused and rough, yet they were so... 
Gentle. 
"I didn't want to believe it at first, but you..." Pan trailed off, sounding faraway and almost dreamlike. His fingers were no longer flexing and squeezing your heart, but he held it close to his own body like it was something that belonged to him. 
You blinked harshly through the tears. You wanted to speak out against him, but your voice became caught in your throat, and it suddenly felt like your body wasn't even within your control anymore. 
The magic from inside the hourglass had become almost dust like as it floated around you both in the air. You hadn't realised it at first, but you were inhaling the particles so easily, and it felt light inside your lungs.