𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 - 𝙻𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕

                                    

                                          

                            

                                
                            
                              
                                  
                              
                              
                                
                                  
                                  
                                
                              
                             
                            
                            
                          
                          

"𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝
𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭"

Waking up alone was something you were still learning to deal with, though you had done it countless of times before. Both before and during your relationship with Ellie. This time around she was out on patrol, which somehow made it less hurtful. You remembered the days she refused to go out on patrol if not with you, and didn't dare to leave the house without you.
The two of you had been tied together, at least it had felt like that at the time. Dreadfully, you forced yourself to get up and start your day. There wasn't much you had to get done, meaning it would most likely be a day spent in solitude again. Sometimes you simply wished you did have other people to turn to outside of Ellie. Like she said, it wasn't her fault you didn't have any friends. Though those words had hurt, there was a hint of truth in them.
Maybe you just had to get yourself back out there again. Start a conversation, have a drink with someone. The idea grossed you out, because forced encounters seemed like the most awkward thing ever to you. Before Joel's death, you never had to worry about any of this, because you had Ellie, and that was enough for the both of you.
You couldn't quite seem to remember when it stopped being enough for her. Did it really matter? At the end of the day you were the one deciding to throw your life away, not her. Yes she had her issues, but she still made time for the fun stuff. This immediately caused for your mind to jump to Dina. For some reason the brunette had always been enough for her.
Not to mention you couldn't even remember the last time you had sex, which felt pathetic knowing you were in your early twenties. It wasn't enough for her anymore. The spiral you had sent yourself into made you angrier by the second, so you grabbed your coat and went outside to try and make the most of your day.
Your eyes scanned the small crowd of people who were already up and walking through the streets. A part of you hoped to find someone familiar, but you knew there were little to no people in Jackson who you would willingly walk up to and start a conversation with. After what felt like an eternity, your eyes landed on a younger woman. 
She couldn't be much older than you. Something about her felt oddly recognisable, with her what you assumed to be many tattoos still being visible from under her long sleeves. Before you knew it, you found yourself walking up to her. "Hi." You awkwardly said, unsure how to start a conversation with someone whose name was on the tip of your tongue.
Weirdly enough, she questionably let out your name, telling you she also vaguely remembered you. Just like that it hit you. "Cat! It's been so long since I've seen you it barely registered." You grinned at her, remembering the days on which your friend group had been much larger, and all of you used to hang out at places you weren't supposed to be,
"Yeah, it's been so long." She nodded, reciprocating the smile. She didn't immediately reject the conversation, that was good, right? "How is Ellie?" Cat asked, seemingly hesitant about asking you about her, since they used to date. It had lasted for about a year, but you never felt like Ellie was fully into her the way she had been into you when you first began dating. It seemed like she was in it just for the fun of it.
This wasn't something you had ever judged her for, but you had probably been to blind to see anything bad in what she did back then. "Oh she's fine. On patrol today with Dina." You processed the words as you let them out, a familiar ache in your heart as you remembered who she was spending the day with instead of you. "Is she still healing from the Joel stuff? I mean that must have been tough on her, on you too by the way." Cat sympathetically added, making you feel more included than Ellie had all week.
"She's processing it in her own way. It's a long process." You replied, unsure whether you wanted to tackle your own take on the situation. The raven-haired woman nodded understandingly, not digging any further. "You want to grab a drink later? I'd love to catch up with you." She suggested, causing for something in your chest to flutter with excitement. "I'd love to!" You answered far too enthusiastically, but you didn't care.
"Alright then, meet you at Tipsy around eight?" She asked, referring to the bar most people went to after a long day. It wasn't as if you had many options in a place like Jackson. "Sounds good." You couldn't stop the smile from appearing on your face as the two of you parted ways. This was exactly what you needed.

————— ୨୧ —————

You were more nervous than you expected yourself to be as you checked your reflection in the bathroom mirror for the fifth time. It was nearing up on eight, but you couldn't seem to stop doubting the clothes you had picked out for the night. Just when you were about to open up your closet again, the front door opened instead.
A feeling of panic washed over you, until you convinced yourself it wasn't a big deal. "What are you dressing up for?" Ellie asked you, her tone already accusing you of things. "I'm grabbing drinks with a friend. Hello, by the way." You rolled your eyes at her careless demeanor, finding it a little extra even for her.
"Who?" She asked, not caring about greeting you like a normal person. "Cat." There were a lot of things you would do to make her feel the same way you were feeling, but you weren't a liar. The fact that you were being open to her about it probably made her feel guilty, as her expression dropped. "I didn't realise the two of you were hanging out." She added, a small frown having appeared on her face.
Her body language told you she was tired, yet she still wanted to talk to you about the matter. "I ran into her today, and she asked me out for drinks. I figured you'd have gone to Dina's after patrol." You added, hoping that these words would do damage. Ellie remained silent for a moment, the expression on her face looking almost numb as she processed your words. "Just as friends, right?"
You could feel yourself get angry at the way she doubted you. How was it okay when she did it, yet a crime when you did? "Well of course." A sigh escaped your lips as you gathered your things, getting ready to leave. "Be safe, please." She said, a hint of sincerity in her voice, taking you by surprise.
"I will be." You reassured before walking out of the door, not caring to look back at her. There was something so painful about knowing you were responsible for the downfall of your relationship too, though you weren't going to admit it was ending just yet. She promised, and a small part of you still had faith in that promise.
Thoughts of Dina and her on patrol were enough to quicken your pace as you made your way over to the bar. You deserved to have fun without feeling guilty, right? Besides, you had no intentions of ever going anywhere outside of friendship with Cat. Ellie probably couldn't say the same about Dina. The way her expression dropped when you slipped her name into the conversation was enough to convince you that she was close to giving in to her urges. 

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Word count: 1413
A/N: Here's your reminder to please vote for these chapters!! I stopped putting reminders at the end of each chapter because I initially thought they were annoying, but I'm noticing that I only get one or two votes per chapter at this point... I'm so grateful for those tuning in every chapter, and just wanted to remind y'all that your votes can help me a lot!!
Thank you to those who have kept on voting all this time, I truly appreciate you<3