Pornstar

                                    

                                          
LOICK
The sun is high in the sky, casting its golden glow over the turquoise waters of the resort's pool. The air is warm but not oppressive, with just a gentle breeze rustling the palm trees around us. 
I stretch out on my lounger, my sunglasses perched low on my nose as I watch Lily, swimming up to the side of the pool. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to hide my feelings from her. With every day that goes by, I feel closer to her than the day before. 
Somehow, everything about her is magnified in my mind. Like my heart has finally caught up with my head and thoughts I've suppressed for too long. 
I'm past the point of shaking thoughts of this shouldn't be happening away. Lily is my best friend, the one person I can always count on. The one person I've never had to pretend around. 
We've always had that invisible line in our friendship that I couldn't cross. Or rather, shouldn't cross. I've known that since I fell for Lily long ago. 
But I also know that every time she looks at me with those green eyes, or when her hand brushes against me, - by accident or on purpose - my stomach tightens in a way that I know is more than just the usual closeness. 
And it's not just the physical reactions anymore, like the little butterflies in my stomach or the way my heartbeat races when she says anything kind. But the way my thoughts have started to drift towards her during every waking second. 
I've caught myself too many times imagining what it would be like to hold her close. To kiss her. To see her smile not only as a friend but as something more. Something deeper, something only the two of us could share. 
It's a wild fantasy, I know that. And a dangerous one at that. If I confessed my feelings, everything changes. Our easy friendship, the foundations of everything we've built could shatter. 
And for what? A fleeting moment of desire that could ruin everything? 
Sometimes, just sometimes when we're alone in our room and talking about nothing in particular, it's like I can almost see it in her eyes. There's a warmth and softness there, something that has made me wonder too many times if she feels this too. Things have changed between us, but just how much is up for debate. 
Maybe I'm reading into things too much. Maybe it's nothing and just wishful thinking. 
But the absolute truth is I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop imagining what it would be like to have more with Lily. To hold her hand and make it last, to kiss her without wondering if it would change everything. 
I know I shouldn't be feeling this way. I came here to help Lily recover from the wedding that didn't happen thanks to Fuckface. And by doing that, I know I should keep these boundaries we've unknowingly set to protect our friendship. 
But I'm in too deep and I'm not sure I'll be able to. Not for much longer. 
Lily flashes me a playful smile, breaking me out of my thoughts. The sunlight catches her hair, making it shimmer like threads of gold. 
"Are you going to join in with volleyball?" She calls, leaning against the side of the pool. 
Grinning, I sit up and feel the warm tiles beneath my feet.