Chapter 29 : Names

                                    

                                          
Every day in the office following your disturbing interaction with Natasha is gruelling. Despite never seeing her, you can feel her there. You're avoiding her, yet it pains you to be aware that she pays you the same distance. 
You've been moved to a regular desk amongst other trainees. It's difficult to truthfully call it comfortable, it's a huge change from your short-lived set up. However, you're slowly making friends amongst the tight knit office boxes, and that's worth more than a lavish, lonely desk by the window. 
The work you're given isn't impossible, but it certainly is challenging. You wish there was someone for you to assign as mentor. There's no chance that Natasha is an appropriate candidate, even Yelena is off the cards given her awareness of the situation. You just have to stew amongst your losses. 
Additionally, you take notice of the email pathways that reach you. They're always from Natasha, with direction only to you, yet they're forwarded through Yelena. Somehow, this is worse than if she'd just send them herself. 
A new week rolls round and as you're catching up on missed communications at home, a follow up email finds you in regard to your status on the upcoming Seattle trip. Upcoming, meaning tomorrow. 
Clearly, it's impossible to hide your unease over the subject. 
"Seattle trip?" Wanda immediately questions. 
You don't reply. 
"You have to go." 
You peer up at her over the screen of your laptop. 
"Why do I have to go?"
"This would be a hugely missed opportunity if you didn't. I'm sorry but I'm not taking no for an answer. You'd better get packing." 
Before you can take a moment to mull over the decision, Wanda is grabbing at you, threatening to tear the laptop from your hands and reply herself. This wakes you up. 
"Fine!" You yell, fearful that she may be observant enough to pick up on the handle of the sender. 
You send off an aggravated reply and vacate to the bedroom, closing your laptop and leaving it on the coffee table. 
Wanda drops you at the airport the following morning. You're offered a company driver to escort you given the early flight time, though she was insistent. 
You'd hardly spent any time apart from Wanda the entirety of you knowing one another. This was all strange and undiscovered. You let her linger in your arms before security, elongating your time on her lips before going a sorrowful seven days without them. 
Out the corner of your eye, you notice a horrifyingly familiar redhead waiting in the queue to check her luggage. She's standing with her back to you both, quite a distance away. Wanda would never recognise her, and you find it disturbing that you do. 
Once Wanda departs, you join the back of the queue, staring at your feet with a knot in your chest. When you finally look up, Natasha has already disappeared through security and your tightness dispels. 
It's only a short wait before your flight. You scan the seats, assigned number lit up on the phone in your hand. How idiotic of you not to expect this. 
Your seat is in the middle row of first class, one conjoined with yours. The divider is down as you take your place next to Natasha. It pains you that she doesn't look up. You didn't want special treatment, but you didn't want to be a stranger.
Flying first class was a novelty. You were trying to mask your inexperience as the flight attendants offered you complimentary drinks. 
"First time?" Natasha finally intervened. You chose to ignore her. 
There's a brief pause of awkwardness before she continues. 
"Can I reintroduce myself? Start again?" 
She's leaning forward now, resting her elbows on the stand of the open divider. A moment passes before you turn to face her. In this moment you're aware that whatever decision you might make will most certainly be life-changing. 
You stare at her inquisitively as if this needs clarification. 
"I want to start again. Please. As colleagues or friends or whatever you want. I just can't bear not knowing you." 
This time it's her pathetically clamouring at your door. 
You reach over and take her hand in yours, shaking it firmly as if you were greeting a stranger. She grins back at you. 
"Care to share your name?"