Chapter Three; June
Song: How by Ella Mai
To Juniper,
I'm sorry isn't good enough, they're not the words you deserve. Really, you deserve more words than I know the meaning of, but this is what I'm able to give you. I hope you accept it. Or even if you don't, I deserve that. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I just want you to still love me.
I've been in a bad mood this whole week. You didn't know, I should've said something, instead I was distant, and snappy and I lashed out on you.
For the record, I know you're thinking that what I said meant I feel like you talk too much. I don't. Every sound that leaves your lips is music to my ears. I could never get tired of hearing you talk, and silence is so loud without your beautiful voice filling the room. Your contagious laugh lights the match to mine, I could find you with a blind fold on by the way you hum It Will Rain, I catch myself swaying my head along to your spontaneous whistling, I like how your tongue clicking alerts me that you're thinking, but your tongue clucking means you're anxious, sucking your teeth means you're angry but it just turns me on. The moans and screams and pleas you make when we have sex... I love them all. From your yawns, to your sighs, to the way you grind your teeth in your sleep.
What I said had nothing to do with you. I didn't want peace and quiet from you, I wanted peace and quiet from myself and all of the loud thoughts that were stressing me out. I think I was talking to myself, through you. That's wrong of me. I should've just said, hey baby, I need a little space. But I never want space from you Juniper, and maybe that's why it's so hard for me to ask for some. I don't want to be away from you, I just don't want to hurt your feelings like I did. I'll work on it. Asking for space. I'm so sorry. I am.
Every part of you is lovable, kissable and worthy. Don't be consumed by your inability to see your beauty. It's there. You're either looking too hard, Or not looking hard enough. I love you, baby.
Love from Abel
P.S. I hope you enjoy your Ike's with extra tomato and extra dirty sauce
Abel was so sweet. When he wasn't being an asshole, obviously. She was still a little mad at him for snapping at her, and definitely mad at how many pages he ripped out of her notebook, but she forgave him. How could she not? The note was more of a love letter than an apology, and he was very good at writing love letters. She loved this man, but boy, what a jerk. It was fine that he was in a mood about losing the competition with Uncle Ben, that he was tired from his trip, but he had other things on his mind. Juniper knew her man, but if he didn't want to talk about it that was fine.
Juniper couldn't focus on her book with her thoughts about Abel intruding. Having re-read page fifty-five three times, she shoved in her beautiful flower page finder- that she had gotten from Abel- and put the book on her nightstand. She'd been up since 7am, and had tried to go back to sleep, but it was 8:30 now and she needed to get ready for work. She was understanding, if he wanted space she would respect it. Didn't he know that? That he could just tell her and she would understand and say okay, I love you, I'm here when you need me. And everything would be okay? He knew his June Pie. He was better than this. She wondered what had made his sheets so pissy. He had copped attitudes with her before, been cranky and what not, but he'd never actually lashed out at her. The words he said hurt, him ignoring and avoiding her on purpose hurt. Why would he do that instead of just talking to her? He did say to avoid doing exactly what he'd done. She needed to stop thinking about it. He explained himself, he apologized, she forgave him, it wouldn't happen again, it was over. Let it go.
YOU ARE READING
64 Pack of Juniper
RomanceAfter three weeks of her high school sweetheart strangely acting like the biggest asshole towards her, Juniper's boyfriend breaks up with her and seemingly that's the end of that. Embarrassed, heart broken, and unsure what to do, Juniper says nothin...